What I'm Reading #17: A Severe Mercy (Sheldon Vanauken)

A Severe Mercy, by Sheldon Vanauken

This semester, my boyfriend and I decided to read a book together. We wanted it to have something to do with God without being too theologically heady (I get more than enough of that at school) and something to do with relationships without being a lame advice book. Gary ended up suggesting Sheldon Vanauken's A Severe Mercy. He had read it several years ago and had told me about it, so I was excited to read it, especially with company.

This book tells the true story of a couple (Jean, known as "Davy," and Sheldon, the author) that falls in love and gets married under a (self-described) "pagan" worldview but, ever curious about the life of faith, they eventually befriend C. S. Lewis and over time convert to Christianity.

The evolution of their relationship through that transition is interesting and challenging in that as young lovers they constructed what they called "The Shining Barrier," a sort of wall around their relationship where they were absolutely first in all things, shared all things and were committed not to let any outside force interfere with their love. In many ways, this was admirable—their profound sense of self-sacrifice to their love, their commitment that if there were something one of them enjoyed, the other would look into it so that they might enjoy it together, never anything separately. Separateness was the enemy, and they worked over the years to avoid anything coming between them.

However, as each comes closer to faith—Davy more quickly and more profoundly than Sheldon—it is clear that God breaks the Shining Barrier. This breaking is for the purpose of remaking, but Sheldon cannot see that at the time and, as Davy plunges more wholeheartedly into her devotion to Christ, Sheldon finds himself resenting her faith, even resenting God for seemingly coming between them. Before, the appeal in any disagreement was centered on what was best for the relationship; now, Davy's appeal was to God's will while Sheldon's continued to be first about her and about their love.

Throughout their entire conversion and development in faith, Sheldon is writing letters with C. S. Lewis. 18 of those letters are included in the book, and they provide an interesting insight into Lewis' thought, framed in a different way than in many of his own books. A Severe Mercy is a beautiful book in its own right, but fans of Lewis should read it even just for that aspect.

The meaning of the title, as one might suspect, draws from the tragedy that winds through this entire book. Davy contracts an unknown illness and eventually passes away. Her death proves to be just what the book is called—a severe mercy. It takes Sheldon quite a while to process it, but with Lewis' help, he comes to see that although Davy's death was undeniably painful and this does nothing to diminish the loss, it was in some strange way merciful.

Lewis comments that because of Davy's death, their love never died but stayed young and beautiful. The fifteen years they had together can never be spoiled. And in the months following her death, Sheldon slowly comes to see what might have happened had Davy lived: because of the jealousy Sheldon harbored toward God without even realizing it, it is likely that he would have come to hate God and even to hate Davy as her faith deepened and his continued to flag. God had interrupted the Shining Barrier, but Sheldon had not accepted that. Lewis framed it this way: they had moved from a focus on "us" to a focus on "us-and-God," but Sheldon had not yet made the final leap to "God-and-us"—that is, the call on their lives as Christians was to put God first, above even their love for each other. Ultimately, Davy's death spared them that foreseable pain and even helped Sheldon on to fullness of faith—for ultimately, his grieving led him to acknowledge and then to let go of his resentment toward God.

Sheldon dismisses the question of whether God caused Davy's illness for the sake of the severe mercy—he says that is making things far too simple and not giving God enough credit for the complexity of creation and grace. But this book is a beautiful exploration of the journey of faith, the beauty of marriage and the rawness of grief and death.


Favorite Quotations

"The best argument for Christianity is Christians: their joy, their certainty, their completeness. But the strongest argument against Christianity is also Christians—when they are sombre and joyless, when they are self-righteous and smug in complacent consecration, when they are narrow and repressive, then Christianity dies a thousand deaths."

"It is not possible to be 'incidentally a Christian.' The fact of Christianity must be overwhelmingly first or nothing."

"Not only are we harried by time, we seem unable, despite a thousand generations, to get used to it... We aren't adapted to it, not at home in it. If that is so, it may appear as a proof, or at least a powerful suggestion, that eternity exists and is our home."

"I came to wonder whether all objects that men and women set their hearts upon, even the darkest and most obsessive desires, do not begin as intimations of joy from the sole spring of joy, God."

"Think of me as a fellow-patient in the same hospital who, having been admitted a little earlier, cd. give some advice." (C. S. Lewis)

"Thus I wouldn't now be bothered by a man who said to me 'This, which you mistake for grace, is really the good functioning of your digestion.' Does my digestion fall outside God's act? He made and allowed to me my colon as much as my guardian angel." (C. S. Lewis)