Monday, May 31, 2010

New Blog Layout!

So, clearly, I'm using a new template. I downloaded it from BTemplates and modified it to be more distinctly me. Photoshop is a wonderful thing, and knowing HTML is handy (sometimes even in ways that matter).

Another thing I did to reorganize my blog was that I completely changed my labelling system. I realized that tagging every post with as many descriptors as possible is great for YouTube videos, not so great for blogs. So I narrowed it down to topics that I am labelling using mostly Bible verses, except for the series I have. Here's a brief explanation of each:
There is also a label called Wisdom from the Saints, which includes various quotations I like, as well as Field Notes and What I'm Reading. Enjoy! :)

Field Notes #8: Memorial Day Off (Sorta Kinda)

I was hoping to spend this Memorial Day reading by the pool. Sadly, the weather has crushed my dreams. However, Mark is out back grilling now since the rain has let up a bit, so we'll still have our cookout in a way.

The church office is closed today, but I had already planned to be working from home, especially since I'm planning to be out of town Friday and Saturday. Plus I just have some cool ideas for things and want to work. I spent most of the morning brainstorming themes, Scripture and music for these alternative worship services we're planning for youth and young adults, and it was awesome. At one point I just stopped and thought, This is my job. I can't believe that this is my job. I feel energized. I'm doing cool stuff for Jesus that isn't a form of procrastination but is actually my job. Way cool.

We're looking at doing this new worship service (which needs a name...ideas?) on Sunday evenings every other week. I emailed a bunch of the youth leaders to get their thoughts, and I also asked them about something Val had reminded me about--planning a weekday activity of some sort for the youth. We could do lots of cool things, whether service, fellowship or formation, so I'll find out what they've done in the past and what they might enjoy. I definitely want to try and bring them to The Upper Room in Statesville when I play there on June 25.

I've also been thinking about possibly teaching a weeknight class maybe every other week. I've been feeling drawn to the Psalms as a topic, and I've already drafted an outline of a 4-part series looking at the Psalms as prayers, as music, as poetry and wrestling with the psalms of vengeance. Val is supportive but warned me these sorts of things, especially in the summer, usually draw pretty small numbers. I'm OK with that. We'll see what comes of it.

My other work item I want to start on today is sermon preparation. I'm preaching next Sunday. Egads! I've briefly looked at the lectionary texts and didn't get a whiffle (that's what some of my high school friend in youth group called a movement of the Holy Spirit), so I'll revisit them in a bit. I may even depart from the lectionary. Horror of horrors! But it's promotion Sunday, when HCUMC celebrates high school and college graduates as well as children moving from elementary to middle school and from middle to high school. I may choose something that would work well with that.

Burger time. Later I'm planning to watch Gattaca. I rented it yesterday along with Children of Men, which I watched last night (and which might get its own post someday due to one particularly moving scene). It's like I'm having my own personal futuristic dystopia film series.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Beth Nielsen Chapman: Back to Love

My dad heard Beth Nielsen Chapman perform at a conference, spoke to her afterwards and brought me back a signed copy of her new album, Back to Love. I procrastinated on listening to the whole thing, but when I did it was twice back-to-back, just for starters.

I've been describing Beth's sound to people as something like "Joni Mitchell meets the Indigo Girls meets Alison Krauss." Her style is a wonderful blend of folk, country, a little bluegrass and lots of soul. She has a truly unique voice that has a rich sound I haven't heard much before.

And her songs are beautiful! I'm talking musically and lyrically. As the album title would suggest, every song on here has something to do with love, be it love of another person or love of God. The simple, prayerful "How We Love" asserts, "All that matters in the end is how we love;" the subtly groovy "I Can See Me Loving You" (my favorite track at the moment) includes the terribly romantic line, "All I know is from the moment I laid eyes on you, you're as far as I can see." Every line is sung with genuine passion and playfulness--there are at least two laughs embedded in the vocals of this album, which just makes me smile. :) See?

Field Notes #7: "Blended" Worship, Special Songs and Special Pets

This morning was our first "blended" service at Hill's Chapel. The 9:00 contemporary service and the 11:00 traditional service have been collapsed into one 10:00 worship hour for the summer. I thought things went really well--we opened with 3 contemporary songs ("Forever," "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Sanctuary"), had 2 special songs (more on those in a minute) and also sang 2 hymns ("My Hope Is Built" and "It Is Well"). Here's a picture of Val giving the children's message--they blew out a birthday candle and made a wish for the church (in reference to Pentecost, the birthday of the church, which was last Sunday), then Val told them about the young girl, Genese, a Haitian girl whom HCUMC is sponsoring through World of God. They then lit another candle and made a wish for Genese.

The two special songs deserve their own explanation in conjunction with Val's sermon for today. The passage she preached on was from the book of Romans:

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. -- Romans 5:1-5

That is a wonderful message of hope and encouragement. However, Val actually turned this passage on its head somewhat, because although those words are true, when taken a certain way they can actually create harmful attitudes. If we aren't careful, we run the risk of saying that suffering is a gift from God to make us stronger--but God does not want his children to suffer any more than a human parents wants his or her son or daughter to suffer. And God does not inflict pain or evil upon us to test our faith or to make us better Christians. Bad things happen because we are broken people living in a broken world, and sometimes trials come and seem to have no redemptive qualities or life lessons, and to reduce them to such is to trivialize the issue.

Our two special songs today set up this message. The first one was "Held" by Natalie Grant, which I played. This deeply moving song was written after a friend of hers lost her 2-month-old baby. I've sung this song before and I absolutely love it because it looks suffering right in the eye and refuses to rationalize or justify it. The anguished cries of the bereft--"to think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays is appalling"--are painfully real, and the chorus does not try to take the confusion and anger away. Natalie sings, "the promise was, when everything fell, we'd be held." God does not promise to make everything better or to reveal some divine purpose for unimaginable tragedies; he promises to hold us in our hurt.

The second song, a special piece the choir sang, is another beautiful anthem of trust. "You Are Mine" by David Haas lifts themes from the following Bible verses:

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." -- Isaiah 43:1

"Be still and know that I am God." -- Psalm 46:10

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you." -- John 14:27

Haas writes fantastically beautiful melodies. "Blest Are They" is another favorite of mine, a musical setting of the Beatitudes. Between those two songs and the opening praise tunes, I think the service set up the Scripture reading and Val's sermon very well. And of course, "My Hope Is Built" reinforced the theme--"When all around my soul gives way, he then is all my hope and stay"--as did "It Is Well"--"Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, 'It is well, it is well with my soul.'"
__________

On a completely unrelated and much lighter note, I brought my two pet mice back from Charlotte with me this weekend. Here's a funny video of Lilly the Yorkie meeting Abby and Mrs. Jingles (sort of).

Friday, May 28, 2010

What I'm Reading #5: Praying the Psalms (Walter Brueggemann)

Praying the Psalms: Engaging Scripture and the Life of the Spirit, by Walter Brueggemann

OK, so I actually read Walter Brueggemann's Praying the Psalms for my Old Testament class this past semester, but especially because we didn't write a paper on it or anything (and because I loved it), I feel the need to reflect on it and share it.

(By the way, the page I linked to for Brueggemann is from Theopedia. What is that?!)

This book has 5 chapters, which broke it into manageable chunks that I read a day at a time, simultaneously completing my spring break reading assignment and discovering a new source of devotion and reflection.

The first is called "Letting Experience Touch the Psalter." Brueggemann points out that we live most of our lives between two extremes--that of crisis and that of elation. Rarely do we stay long in the place of equilibrium for which we long. But this is the truth of what Brueggemann calls "the rawness of life," and this is where the Psalmist meets us. In the Psalms, the anger is frightening and the joy seems naive at times. But this is how the Psalms touch our experience, and, amazingly enough, they are affected by our experience.

The next chapter, "The Liberation of Language," encourages the reader to appreciate and unleash the richness of the language in the Psalms. Brueggemann warns against the danger of taking the Psalms as basically positive and descriptive in nature--if we do that, he says, "the Psalms can probably be managed and comprehended and rendered powerless." Life is often unpredictable, and we are not as in control as we would like. We need to relinquish our need for control, reading the Psalms in a creative, transformative way instead of domesticating them.

To further the discussion of language, Brueggemann begins to locate it in the next section, "Language Appropriate to a Place." He writes, "Our lives always move between the pit and the wing"--the pit of Sheol and the protective wing of God. The psalms of trust are almost always located in the pit, and the very expression of hope in and reliance on God in a place of despair "is a first gesturing of transformed circumstance." One often cannot see the fruit of hope while still in the pit, but the very act of expressing that hope draws us toward that promise of redemption.

In chapter four, "Christians in 'Jewish' Territory," Brueggemann explores a touchy subject: the use of definitively Jewish scripture by Christians. Brueggemann says that it is important to acknowledge the profound Jewish-ness of the Psalms and through them to pray for the Jews, not as a condescension, but as a joining in the cries of the Jews throughout history, "for Jews are a paradigm of the deepest longings and yearnings of all humanity." Praying the Psalms is an act of seeking solidarity with the oppressed, those whom the world rejects but by whom God stands firm. Brueggemann says that we must pray the Psalms "as Jews"--not by pretending to be Jewish or by adding a sort of Christian flair to co-opted Jewish practices, but by understanding and exercising the concreteness, embodied-ness, candor, hope and passion that are distinctly Jewish traits of the Psalms.

The last part of the book is perhaps the most difficult: "Vengeance: Human and Divine." The imprecatory psalms make most Christian uncomfortable, and understandably so. However, Brueggemann says that the presence of real anger and desire for revenge is a reflection of our own brokenness--"The real theological problem...is not that vengeance is there in the Psalms, but that it is here in our midst." To avoid the psalms of vengeance is to ignore a fundamental, if embarrassing, piece of humanity: our ability to hate. When thoughts of hatred enter our minds, they seem frighteningly powerful and destructive; but the Psalms offer us an opportunity to let go of these desires, and when we express them, we find that they are not as destructive as we feared. Dietrich Bonhoeffer pointed out in his book Psalms: The Prayer Book of the Bible that the imprecatory Psalms never call for a person to take vengeance, but for God to do so. Brueggemann says that the act of acknowledging God's right and ability to take revenge releases us from its power. God bears our vengeance--and the crucifixion of Christ was a staggering act of God bearing his own vengeance for our sakes.

I love this book for how it demonstrates the Psalms' understanding of the whole of humanity, even our anger and despair. This helped me feel encouraged that whatever we may be dealing with, God can take it--even if that means screaming at him. God wants our whole selves, and praying the Psalms gives us a Scriptural basis for how to offer that to him.


Favorite Quotations

"While we all yearn for [equilibrium], it is not very interesting and does not produce great prayer or powerful song."

"[The Psalms] assert not that God will be or has promised to be a refuge, but that God is refuge right in the present circumstance."

"Thus the use of the Psalm of trust while still in the pit is an act of profound hope which permits new life. Expressing one's trust in God's sheltering wings is a bold assertion that the power of the pit has been broken."

"To pray with the Jews is to be aware of the solidarity with the chosen of God whom the world rejects."

"When we learn to pray these prayers faithfully, we shall all be scandalized."

"To affirm that vengeance belongs to God is an act of profound faith. Conversely, to try to keep some vengeance for self and to withhold it from God is to mistrust God, as though we could do it better than God. Affirmation of God's vengeance is in fact a yielding."

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Field Notes #6: Local Coffee, Fighting with Powerpoint, & More Old Folks

Why am I up this late? I don't even know. I'm exhausted.

But here's my field ed update. I'm still trying to figure out a routine for myself during the week, since my "office hours" are flexible, and this morning I tried something new. Once I had gotten up and gotten dressed, I went to Dilworth Coffee @ Denver. It was a great way to start my morning--had my own chill journalling time, drank an Italian cream soda (which wasn't on the menu, but I told the barista to add half-and-half to my vanilla Italian soda and she was fascinated), finished making my info sheet for possible field trips for the older adults at church, and so on. I also gave them one of my CDs in the hopes that I can play there sometime this summer--they have a neat little patio where they apparently have music sometimes. It being so close to HCUMC, I could hopefully get a crowd to come out from the church if it's an early show. :)

Most of my time in the office today was spent helping (or trying to help) LeaAnne with the powerpoint setup for Sunday. I made a slideshow to play while the choir sings David Haas' beautiful anthem "You Are Mine," so we had to do some problem-solving to figure out the best way to integrate that into the worship service.

Janet Howie took me out to lunch at the Dragon Buffet (Chinese) (oh and that link goes to www.LakeNormanFoodie.com, a blog I just discovered and am now following), which was nice. I learned that she has lived in Denver/Lowesville for 79 years and has been a member of HCUMC for the same amount of time. (Hint: she's 79 years old.) Many of her children and grandchildren live very near her, which seems to be the case with a number of the families I've met around here. It got me thinking--I guess I quality as a "city girl," and in that context, there's this idea that you're supposed to go to college and get away from your family. That's probably even more the case for Duke grads, who aren't supposed to move back home after graduation (but several of my friends did. Go c/o '09!). But there's a sense of closeness and loyalty within families that gets lost in urban living, I think.

Another thing that got me thinking was my first home visit, which I went on with Pastor Val this afternoon. We went to see Marie, a very sweet woman who unfortunately has been sick for almost a year now. She said she had only been able to make it to church 3 times since last October. I had met her husband, Ron, yesterday at the coffee break, and he had shared then about how he was appreciating his wife so much more now that he was trying to do more in the way of housework and even sometimes cooking. Marie has been struggling with nausea for a long time, and she told us that the other morning she felt like she really wanted cantaloupe, so Ron ran out to the store to buy one. Seeing and hearing how this older man was taking care of his sick wife as best he could was touching but also a little sad. I've always wanted to live to be old enough to be the awesome old lady who can say anything she wants and get away with it, and I think part of why I don't like hospitals and nursing homes is that I don't like to be faced with the reality of aging. In the car on the way back to HCUMC, Val and I talked about how we both want not to be a burden on our loved ones. It makes me sad, because I know that more than just about anything my grandfather wants to die quietly in his sleep and not be a bother to anyone. But he's getting old, and his health is slipping in many ways--and he knows it. I'll probably be musing plenty more on spirituality and aging as the summer goes on. Today I was left with a vague sense of sadness more than anything.

Also, it was darn hot today (please note Thursday's high, not the current temperature, which is actually pretty nice). I went for a bike ride around 4:00 and I still don't think I'm re-hydrated enough. Crazy.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I'm Not Even Going to Call This a "Field Note" Because It's So Random

I took this picture today out on my bike ride:

This is why I shouldn't be allowed to use Photoshop.

OK, so Homer Simpson wasn't really there, but I am very close to the McGuire Nuclear Station. I remember when I lived in Davidson they distributed potassium iodine pills to protect our thyroids in the case of a nuclear meltdown. For one thing, how about a pill to protect, you know, something useful? For another thing, I don't HAVE a thyroid, so the joke's on you, suckers!

Field Notes #5: Old Cars, Old Folks

After some lovely quiet time out on the fishing pier I first visited last night (a spider had spun a web over the end of the pier, where I had been sitting--I left it alone), I drove over to the church and was greeted by this sight in the parking lot. This is Frank's 1950 Chevy Deluxe. Apparently he has a 1930-something...something. (I don't know much about cars. OK, I don't know anything about cars.)

Val hosted a coffee break for the "older" men this morning at the church--coffee, OJ, strawberries with marshmallow/cream cheese dip and sugar-free apple crisp. Yum. And one of the men, a former pastor at HCUMC, told me he knew my grandfather and that he told him this joke (say it out loud for it to make sense):

Q: What does a lemon pie and the third finger on my left hand have in common?
A: They've got meringue on them.

To put this in perspective, one time when my grandfather was moving to a new church, the congregation he was leaving gave him a gift: a book entitled "Jokes We Hope Tom Will Tell Again." It was full of blank pages.

After the coffee break, we joined a bigger group of the seniors at Lakeshore BBQ for lunch. I lowered the average age drastically. These folks are so nice. I really enjoyed hanging out with them.

We also picked out music today for this coming Sunday's worship service. Since we're moving to one "blended" service for the summer, we tried to get a variety of styles. We're going to start out with 3 praise tunes: "Forever," "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Sanctuary." Later in the service, we'll sing two hymns: "My Hope Is Built" and "It Is Well." I'm also going to do a solo--"Held" by Natalie Grant. The passage from Romans, on which Val will be preaching, is all about suffering producing endurance, but her approach will turn it on its head a bit. More about that on Sunday. Sadly, Art, who plays drums, will be out of town this weekend. Bummer.

Val put me to work researching ideas for activities for the senior adults in the church. Like the Explorations in Antiquity Center in LaGrange, GA, or the new Billy Graham Library in Charlotte. Apparently the seniors have been clamoring for things to do, so we're looking into some field trips and activities for them.

We also finalized a sponsorship of a Haitian child named Genese through World of God, an organization started by a Myers Park UMC (Charlotte, NC) church mem
ber to help children in Haiti (mostly in Bayonnais, one of the poorest regions of the country) and in Liberia. I have a sponsored child through World of God as well. It's sort of a localized version of Compassion International, another great organization.

In a bit, I'm gonna go home, go for a nice, long bike ride, shower, then come back to church for music/choir practice at 6:30. Looking forward to it! :)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Field Notes #4: Worship Planning and Church Council Meeting

Today was pretty low-key. I've got to do better about getting myself going in the mornings, though. I can pretty much come into the office whenever I need to, but I've found that I'm not remotely productive at home (er, at the Edwards'), so I either need to go into the office earlier or find a nearby coffee shop to hit up before going to church (I like that idea better). It'll be different once I move into the parsonage, but I'm gonna try a new approach tomorrow.

I fleshed out and completed my side of the Learning-Serving Covenant today, which my supervisor and I began working on yesterday. I feel lame that I have such vague "learning goals"--basically that I want to get more of the big picture of church ministry. Lame. But both accurate and challenging. :)

I spent most of today working on worship stuff. I dove into some reading and resources, many of which my pastor had given me, others I had brought along myself. I started picking out songs that might work for worship this Sunday based on the lectionary texts (Val will probably preach on Romans 5:1-5), which also involved me revising my arrangement of "Be Thou My Vision," pulling out crumpled scores of Gary's hymn settings, and hacking into Gary's Planning Center Online account to swipe charts (don't tell). I'll be interested to see how worship pans out at HCUMC this summer with the one "blended" service. I'm pretty excited about it. Hopefully we can successfully walk the line between "traditional" and "contemporary" (though I really liked the third "Favorite Quotation" that I posted here from one of the books I looked at today).

I went home around 4, went for a short run (goodness it was hot out), showered and hung out for a bit before going out to dinner (Showmars for the second time both in the past 3 days and ever in my life) with the folks who live next door to where I'm staying, the Reids. Their daughter Abby is about to graduate from high school and go on to App State. Emily and Neil are both very active in the church, so we went straight from dinner to a church council meeting. I was mostly there to observe and just to say hi, and I won't lie and say it was the most scintillating hour of my life, but it was interesting to get a brief glimpse into just about every facet of the church, and I appreciated their efficiency. I've sat through church meetings that made me want to gouge my own eyeballs out with a spoon, but this group was on target, making sure they didn't miss anything but also not wasting time.

After Emily dropped me off back at the Edwards', I went for a barefoot stroll around the neighborhood, talked to Gary on the phone for a while and enjoyed the nice evening. I ran into a couple that used to go to Davidson UMC, where my dad was the pastor for 12 years--I'm pretty sure the wife was the one who worked as a crossing guard at the (best) elementary school (ever) and took me home the day my dad forgot to pick me up from kindergarten. Way cool. I managed to pick my way down a dirt and gravel trail to a little fishing pier overlooking the lake, and I'll leave you with the view as captured by my dinky little camera phone (though you have to admit, it's not a half-bad picture):

What I'm Reading #4: ReConnecting Worship (Rob Weber with Stacy Hood)

ReConnecting Worship: Where Tradition & Innovation Converge by Rob Weber, with Stacy Hood

Here's yet another worship resource my field ed supervisor gave me. ReConnecting Worship was written by Rob Weber with Stacy Hood. In the foreword, Leonard Sweet writes, "In this wonderful book by Rob Weber and Stacy Hood, there is a keen sense that 'tradition' does not mean going backward, but not wanting to go forward without all the riches and resources available. They understand the difference between innovation that has been merely tinctured by tradition and innovation that has arisen from and been anointed in the tradition. Relevancy has too often equated with 'recency.'" This book is a guide to different styles of worship, what to expect in terms of reactions to change, and it comes as part of a kit that includes video of teaching and storytelling as well as resources for music ministry. The main part of the book begins with a prayer to guide the process of thinking about and developing worship, and its format is that of a week-by-week guide to integrating the readings into the life of the church.

Weber and Hood frequently return to the model of asking questions, especially "why" questions, and allowing space for worship to answer those. One image I particularly liked was that of a Jewish Passover Seder. The tradition is that the youngest person present asks a series of questions--"Why do we eat bitter herbs?"; "Why do we use the cup?"; and so on--and answers are given that hep to instruct the children and remind the adults of the rich symbolism inherent to the meal. I once attended a Seder with my family at the home of the Rabbi of Temple Israel, the conservative Jewish temple in Charlotte, NC. What I learned from that experience is that Seders are not only educational but also lots of fun--the table was littered with plastic bugs that we all held when reading about the plague of locusts (Exodus 10:1-20), and we got to throw kosher marshmallows at each other to enact the plague of hail (Exodus 9:13-24). I like this model of combining question, answer and play as one that can be applied to worship. Competing to see who could peg the rabbi's yarmulke with a marshmallows might have been a bit irreverent, but it was a creative way of engaging people of all ages (and in this case, of different creeds!) in the Biblical narrative. The materials were new, the stories old. That's what worship should have the freedom to do and to be.


Favorite Quotations

"Our diverse individual expressions of worship vary in size and shape. Like distinct raindrops, all of our worship finds its source and goal in the deep pool of God's presence and activity."

"Deep listening mitigates conflict, but more importantly it is evidence of the humility that God anticipates in worship."

"The words traditional and contemporary are used as if we share a definition in common. The truth is that these terms have become heavily value-laden and are always used from a particular interpretation to preserve one meaning or another."

"As the church seeks to discern how best to shape itself in the emerging century, the question is not helpfully presented as a choice between traditional and contemporary forms of expression. It is much more mature to describe a choice between a dynamic and productive use of tension or a destructive reaction to that same tension. The solution to this difficult struggle is not found in any one particular form but in a recovery of the original identity of the church as the people of God."

"Worshiping is like checking a compass to keep us oriented toward God and God's purposes for our lives. Navigators do not check a compass because it is entertaining, or because it is a really attractive compass, or because 'it is the same kind of compass my great-great-grandfather had,' or because 'that's the way we've always done it.' Navigators check the compass to orient themselves toward their intended destination. All worship should find its origin in this purpose."

"[Kierkegaard] said that the audience for worship is not the congregation but God. [...] Participants are shaped, formed, and built up through worship, but those benefits are byproducts of an authentic worship of God."

Monday, May 24, 2010

What I'm Reading #3: Redesigning Worship (by Kim Miller)

Redesigning Worship: Creating Powerful God Experiences, by Kim Miller

Redesigning Worship is one of the books that my field ed supervisor, Dr. Val Rosenquist, gave me to read as part of my worship learning experience at Hill's Chapel United Methodist Church this summer. The author, Kim Miller, is Campus Designer at Ginghamsburg Church in Tipp City, OH. That a church would have such a staff position is fascinating in and of itself and definitely piqued my interest in this book.

I'm probably not going to read this cover to cover, partly because some of this is just not applicable to the context of HCUMC and partly because I have a zillion other books I want to read. But there are definitely great resources here. There are even sample scripts for drama and media to incorporate into worship, part of the approach of "multisensory worship" that Miller emphasizes. Miller also stresses the importance of the spoken word to communicate and motivate. She says that God speaks to us in many different ways and can reveal himself through all sorts of art forms, but ultimately it is verbal language that convicts and explains. As someone who is very interested in the role of the arts in worship, this is important for me to keep at the forefront.

I do have one qualm about this book (remember, I'm only reading portions, so I may have missed something). I saw a subheading in the section about building a worship team entitled "Seek Only Mission-Driven People." Along the same line(s), I read a quote from Mike Slaughter that I at first wrote down as a favorite quote, but later removed: "Ironically, worship is not the central focus of church, rather the process of focusing the church for God's mission in the world." Now, I do not fundamentally disagree with this; much of Slaughter's point is that there is a problem when people see the whole of their life of faith as being contained in one hour on Sunday mornings. That is absolutely true. I have heard pastors deliver the simple benediction, "The worship is ended; let the service begin," and I love it. But I am wary of anyone who is too quick to treat worship as a means to an end. It may be that I have too narrow an idea of what defines "mission" in my own mind, but I worry that the admonition to "seek only mission-driven people" creates a worship team whose outlook might be too myopic. I like the idea of balancing out folks who are gung-ho on the mission front with those who are deeply prayerful and spiritual. Worship is about forming us to go out, but it is also an end in an of itself, and we should not be so quick to rush out and be Christ's hands and feet that we forget to kneel at his feet.

But I think the witness of Ginghamsburg, Mike Slaughter and Kim Miller is a prophetic one (and it is entirely likely that either Slaughter or Miller would read the above paragraph and agree with me). The focus on the Word; how they acknowledge and embrace tension and conflict in worship; the determination not to sacrifice truth to relevance; all of these are things from which the broader church can and should learn.


Favorite Quotations

"If there is no tension with the message, the team doesn't feel it's worship worthy."

"No matter what the theme or occasion for the worship gathering, the word must drive the worship. Everything else we do must support and enhance it."

"God's redemptive purpose is to get more of the church into the world rather than coaxing the world into the church." -- Mike Slaughter, Ginghamsburg Church

"We must show the relevance of Jesus to our culture but also the radical difference, the 'worldview' of Jesus in the culture. Too often we have strived to be relevant but ceased to be revolutionary." -- Mike Slaughter

"Worship loses the prophetic voice of God when we fear people and not God." -- Mike Slaughter

Field Notes #3: Monday, Monday (First Day in the Office!)

I've been reading Henri Nouwen's The Inner Voice of Love, a collection of spiritual imperatives and reflections, as a daily devotional for a while now. Today's entry was entitled "Keep Trusting God's Call." What a perfect admonition to keep in mind on my first day at the office.

I came in this morning and began making a list of supplies for Vacation Bible School. We had a planning meeting for VBS yesterday afternoon, and I was assigned to be in charge of the games. We're using Cokesbury's "Galactic Blast" VBS curriculum, so the planned activities include "Planet Toss" and "Creation Station Relay." I'm always skeptical of curricula like this, but these activities actually look pretty fun.

I also got to write my first contributions to "The Hill's Chapel House Call," HCUMC's monthly newsletter. I drew up two short articles, one about VBS and the other introducing myself to the congregation.

I got to have lunch in the office with Pastor Val and LeaAnne, the administrative assistant, which was cool. Val and I coordinated calendars and set a third Sunday for me to preach, June 6 (I was already scheduled for July 4 and 18).

One highlight today was that Val gave me a copy of the church directory. This may seem like a small thing, but I'm actually really glad to have it. I've met so many people in the past few days and yet I've forgotten so many names already. I'm going to do something that my dad does at his church (which has quite a few more members than HCUMC, so it'll be more manageable for me): each day, I'll take one page of the directory and pray for all the families and individuals on it. I think this will be a good exercise not only to help me learn names and faces but also intentionally to incorporate HCUMC's membership into my prayer life.

This afternoon, Val and I began to complete the Learning-Serving Covenant required as a part of field ed. The idea is for each student to set learning goals and to establish guidelines for supervision and so on. Even though this is my first field ed placement, I was already familiar with the covenant, as we had used in in the PathWays summer program. But it was really good to go through it with Val, and I got a lot out of the conversations we had when we went off on tangents.

Since I'll be involved in helping plan and lead worship a great deal this summer, Val lent me a few books that I'm super excited about, much to my embarrassment. They are: ReConnecting Worship: Where Tradition & Innovation Converge, by Rob Weber with Stacy Hood; Redesigning Worship: Creating Powerful God Experiences, by Kim Miller; and A Royal "Waste" of Time: The Splendor of Worshiping God and Being Church for the World, by Marva J. Dawn. That last one is the sequel to Reaching out Without Dumbing Down, one of the many books I am determined to read this summer. All of this will surely show up in this blog later.

After work, I came back to the Edwards' house, where we had dinner and then headed off to aerobics class at the church, which Debbie Edwards teaches. That was an intense workout! And we did it all to techno hymns, which was pretty amusing. I'm glad I went, not only for the exercise but also because it gave me the opportunity to connect with a few more women from HCUMC. Debbie holds that class twice a week, so I'll try to start going regularly.

And now I'm bushed. (Do people actually say that?) I'm gonna try to get started on one of these books, but I may well fall asleep reading. Which isn't such a bad thing. :)

A Quote on Worship


"Worship is love preparing to move."

Author unknown (from the Ekklesia Church @ Raleigh website)

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Field Notes #2: Sittin' on the Dock of the Lake (First Sunday/Pentecost!)

If I look up from my laptop right now, this is what I see:


Guys, my field placement is sweet. Not only am I living at a sweet lake house before moving into my own newly renovated space right next to the church, the folks at HCUMC are wonderful. I was a little nervous at church this morning, eager to meet the congregation but still a little antsy about the whole thing, but I felt like almost every single congregation member came up and introduced themselves to me this morning, telling me how excited they are for me to be there and offering all sorts of assistance. I've got folks who want to take me out on jet skis, a private detective offering to help keep an eye on me when I move into the parsonage, and tons of people feeding me--I already got taken out to lunch today. Tonight, we had a "pounding" (my boyfriend hates the term, understandably), and people brought various foods and a number of gift cards to Wal-Mart and other grocery stores, as well as gift certificates to a local grill. They even passed around a sign-up sheet for people to take me to or cook me lunch or dinner throughout the summer. I am getting taken care of for real. I've even met my twin (I have a 7th-grade doppelganger named Maddie) and got recruited to the softball team.

Anyway, needless to say, the pounding was great fun. But I haven't even talked about church this morning. Today is Pentecost. Happy Birthday, Church!! Today was the last Sunday of two worship services (9:00 and 10:00) at Hill's Chapel UMC, which I was glad I got to experience. The Family Life Center (where worship is being held while the new sanctuary is being built) was wonderfully decorated with red for the occasion--vestments, streamers, geraniums, you name it.

The first service has a bit more of a contemporary feel--Art plays drums and we get a few praise choruses. I led the call to worship and sang with the lead singers. Between services, I sat in on an adult Sunday School class, and at 11 I sang with the choir. I'm really looking forward to getting more involved with music and worship at HCUMC. Their worship director, Jeana Borman, also serves as accompanist and vocal coach at Lenoir-Rhyne University, so she's great.

I also really appreciated Pastor Val's sermon this morning. She preached from Acts 2:1-20, the narrative of the first Pentecost. One thing she said that stuck with me referred to verse 13, where, witnessing the excitement of the disciples as suddenly they are able to understand the languages of people from far and wide proclaiming God's power, "others sneered and said, ‘They are filled with new wine.’" Pastor Val said, "They weren't drunk on new wine; they were new wine." She referenced Mark 2:22, where Jesus points out that new wine must be put into new wineskins; old wineskins will burst. The Holy Spirit, Pastor Val said, was doing a new thing on that first Pentecost, which proclaimed that the church was not for any one people, race, culture or language, but was to deliver the Gospel to all nations.

So yeah, I'd say I had a good first Sunday. :)

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Field Notes #1: Arrival in Stanley

Okey dokey. Here's my next blog series: "Field Notes." Tomorrow, I officially start my summer field education placement. The Field Ed program at Duke Divinity School offers summer and academic year opportunities for students in church and agency placements, many of which (mine included) are funded by the Duke Endowment. Two units of field ed, one of which should be in a church setting, are required for successful completion of the M.Div. degree. Here are a few quips from the Field Ed website:

Field Education provides an opportunity for students to discern their vocational identity through contextual learning. Settings vary, from parish to non-profit and from domestic to international.

As part of the Field Education program, each student commits to:

  • Explore ministerial roles and identity, work to clarify and test his or her call, build and strengthen skills for ministry
  • 40 hours per week of preparation and presence for a 10-week summer placement
  • 13-15 hours weekly of preparation and presence for a 30-week academic year placement

This summer, I'll be at Hill's Chapel United Methodist Church in Stanley, North Carolina.

The church isn't quite where Google Maps has Stanley tagged, but it's basically on the west side of Lake Norman. At the moment, I'm actually staying at a house that is right on the lake. I'll be moving into the old parsonage, but it's currently being renovated (the building will also include new offices, meeting space and more--it looks GREAT, even if it's still a bit of a mess), so for now I'm with the Edwards family. They are wonderful folks with a beautiful home and two adorable Yorkies. Check out the video below to see Lilly, one of their pups (who is sitting on the bed with me as I type this), begging for my pita bites.




(I LOVE dogs.)

Earlier, the pastor, Dr. Val Rosenquist, gave me a tour of the church. They recently tore down their old sanctuary and education building, but I was surprised by just how much space they still have. Their Family Life Center is a great location, where their contemporary service usually meets and where all worship is currently being held. They usually have a 9:00 a.m. contemporary service and an 11:00 a.m. traditional service, but starting May 30, they'll go to one blended service at 10:00 a.m. I'm looking forward to seeing what the differences are in the normal services tomorrow and then learning what it means to have a "blended" service. I'm hoping to have some opportunities to observe or help with worship planning and maybe with music, too.

Besides great spaces for worship, meetings, Sunday School, events and more, HCUMC has some really fun stuff out back. Behind the church is a playground, a baseball field, a basketball court, a track, a volleyball court and a picnic patio. All those things are open to the public, and apparently they are all frequented by members of the community. What a great hospitality and outreach resource! I'll definitely be jogging the track some this summer, and I brought my softball glove and can hopefully track down a basketball, so who knows.

Tomorrow I'll report about my first Sunday at HCUMC! I'm now off to have dinner with the Edwards and get ready to play music at Maddi's Southern Bistro in Huntersville's Birkdale Village tonight at 9. Music is going to be the sort of me-time supplement to my field ed--I had a fun show last night at eeZ Fusion & Sushi, also in Birkdale.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

What I'm Reading #2: The Irrelevance and Relevance of the Christian Message (Paul Tillich)

The Irrelevance and Relevance of the Christian Message, by Paul Tillich

This slim volume is actually a collection of three lectures delivered by Paul Tillich. The description on the back of the 2007 edition aptly describes its content:

The Irrelevance and Relevance of the Christian Message is a transcript of Paul Tillich's 1963 Earl Lectures at the Graduate Theological Union. Delivered just two years before his death, these lectures present Tillich's heartfelt and deeply personal understanding of the relevance of Christian preaching and Christian theology.

Why, Tillich asks, has the Christian message become seemingly irrelevant to contemporary society? Is the gospel able to give answers to the questions raised by the existentialist analysis of the human predicament? Yes, he answers--but in order to do so Christian teaching and preaching need to undergo dramatic renewal, the root of which requires an affirmation of love as central to Christian identity. Further, we need to recognize that this task is not limited to preachers and theologians; all of us together are responsible for the irrelevance of the relevance of the gospel in our time.

I picked up this book at the suggestion of Leif Erik Bergerud (he doesn't know this (well, he does now), but my boyfriend and I refer to him as "Odin" because he totally has a Viking name), my predecessor in managing the New Creation Arts blog. I had posted about Another Level, a church that meets in a bar. I was intrigued by their approach and impressed by how they are able to reach out to a population that usually feels unwelcome in traditional church settings.

This encounter was just one more instance of me wrestling with the question of how far relevance can go before it renders the Christian message meaningless. On the other hand, as Tillich points out, irrelevance makes the gospel just as empty to outsiders (and even to supposed insiders). Tillich's talks were delivered almost 50 years ago, but they are just as alive and relevant (ha) today as they were in his time. I wonder if he ever imagined just how much of a buzzword "relevance" would become. A church I'm familiar with in Durham uses the motto "where reverence meets relevance." I even saw something about a church promoting "contemporvant" ("contemporary" + "relevant") worship.

Of course, there's a delicate balance to be struck here. The problem with getting too fixated on making Christianity relevant is that it makes our culture the standard. One could argue that we should be asking how we can make our society more relevant to the gospel. Of course, that would require a transformation of our world to the point that it would be unrecognizable in many aspects, so that's just not feasible. The gospel needs to be palatable to real people living in the real world. Tillich's suggestion of clinging to a core message of love is a profound move; it takes the gospel straight to the heart of being without compromising it. And his emphasis on the priesthood of all believers makes the participatory nature of faith a central aspect.

I suggest you check this out for yourself. After all, it's only 63 pages long.


Favorite Quotations:

"Tradition is good. Traditionalism is bad."

"What about the attack of 'relativism' against all contents of belief and ethics? There is no relativism with respect to the experience of the Unconditional in oneself. But there is the relativity of all history with respect to the religious symbols and the ethical commands. They are not unconditional. They are historically conditioned and changing. They all stand under the one unconditional criterion: agape, the Christian word for love. This is not a law, but is the negation of every law. It is in itself unconditional because nothing can transcend love and nothing less than love is sufficient. But what love is in the concrete moment is open to the creative understanding of the situation and does not have the character of a law we can define and obey."

"I believe it is the unique greatness of Christianity that it shows the positivity of life in the principle which has had many names in Christian history but which I like to call 'the acceptance of the unacceptable,' namely, the acceptance of us. ...the unacceptable must first be accepted and only then can be transformed."

Monday, May 17, 2010

What I'm Reading #1: The Inner Voice of Love (Henri Nouwen)

One of the first things I did to start organizing my stuff to be packed up for the summer was to visit my bookshelves (there are several around the house) and pull out books that I want to read, which have had to be tabled for the duration of the school year. I've decided that this summer I'm going to start posting here about books I read. This is partly for the benefit of you, gentle reader, but also for my own benefit. In the past I've worked on writing reflections on what I read, which is immensely helpful in retaining information; and if I can keep this up, I have no doubt it will be a useful preaching and teaching resource that will either prevent me from having to dig back through endless volumes or at least assist in that process.

So, without further ado, here is the first installment of "What I'm Reading."

__________


The Inner Voice of Love, by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Henri Nouwen is one of my spiritual heroes. I first discovered him through his book The Return of the Prodigal Son, a profound meditation on the Rembrandt painting of the same name. It was during the reading of that book that I declared Nouwen to be "my spiritual twin." Since then, I have also been moved by his books The Wounded Healer, Compassion and Out of Solitude.

Imagine my delight when I walked into the bathroom a few months ago to find The Inner Voice of Love sitting on top of the toilet. (I live with 5 other people and grew up with a dad who read in the bathroom so frequently that we took to calling it his library, so this did not faze me at all.) I picked it up and hungrily read the introduction, where I learned that "my spiritual twin" at one time went through a 6-month period of deep depression for which he was institutionalized. This threw me for a minute, but I also found it deeply comforting, as this past semester was incredibly difficult for me emotionally; to know that such a religious giant went through psychological struggles not only made him more human, it affirmed me in many ways.

The Inner Voice of Love is a collection of writings from Nouwen's time of trial; the subtitle is "A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom." It is a series of spiritual imperatives on which Nouwen meditates in the midst of deep pain that is potent but also that clings to an often unseen hope. I read the first entry, "Work Around Your Abyss," and immediately went to my computer and ordered a copy online to pick up at Barnes & Noble the next day. Since then, I have been using this book as a sort of daily devotional, reading each imperative with its 1-2 page reflection and meditating on it in my own journalling. It has been directly relevant to the point of being shocking at times, and it has been immensely helpful for my spiritual and emotional growth over the past few months. Each imperative is a candid acknowledgment of Nouwen's personal shortcomings with an admonishment to press on and to seek closer communion with God. This book has fed my deepest hunger, and I will be sad when I finish reading it.


Favorite Quotations

"A seed only flourishes by staying in the ground in which it is sown. When you keep digging the seed up to check whether it is growing, it will never bear fruit." -- from the section "Acknowledge Your Powerlessness"

"The pain of your loneliness may be rooted in your deepest vocation." -- from the section "Find the Source of Your Loneliness"

"Your healing is not a straight line." -- from the section "Keep Returning to the Road to Freedom"

"It is obviously good not to act on your sudden emotions. But you don't have to repress them, either. You can acknowledge them and let them pass by. In a certain sense, you have to befriend them so that you do not become their victim." -- from the section "Befriend Your Emotions"

"God does not require of you what is beyond your ability, what leads you away from God, or what makes you depressed or sad." -- from the section "Claim Your Unique Presence in Your Community"

Thursday, May 6, 2010

"You shall love the alien as yourself"

This morning, I saw this posted as a friend's Facebook status:

"JUST SO I UNDERSTAND THIS...YOU PASS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YRS HARD LABOR, YOU PASS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET SHOT. YOU PASS THE AMERICAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET A JOB, DRIVER'S LICENSE, ALLOWANCE FOR A PLACE TO LIVE, HEALTH CARE, EDUCATION, BILLIONS OF DOLLARS SPENT SO YOU CAN READ A DOCUMENT. WE CARRY PASSPORTS IN OTHER COUNTRIES OR FACE JAIL TIME. REPOST IF YOU AGREE"

My only direct response to this is...so our standards of comparison are North Korea and Afghanistan now? And getting shot in Afghanistan happens a lot more often for a lot more reasons than crossing the border illegally...

My indirect response comes from the fact that when I saw this, I had just read the daily office from the BCP with my housemates. The Old Testament lesson for today is this:

"When an alien resides with you in your land, you shall not oppress the alien. The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God."
-- Leviticus 19:33-34


I was so grateful for this. I don't really know how to respond to all the nastiness I see getting slung around online over Arizona and immigration and whatnot, and it turns out I don't have to say a thing. I can just point to these verses. Because, interestingly enough, most of the people I know who are rabidly anti-immigration are...Christians. I'm not demonizing those people--I have many friends and relatives who fall into that category. I'm just saying.

I wasn't going to blog about the issue at all, but this news item pushed me over the edge.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I Hate Gender Inclusive Language

...and apparently I like obnoxious blog post titles. Let me just say, I hate gender inclusive language less than I used to. My attitude a few years ago was sort of like, "What the heck is this gender inclusive crap? Women, get over it and stop whining! You can hold your own if you want to." Things have happened in the past few years that have softened that a bit. I find myself correcting gendered language in others' speech and writing (not obsessively, don't be afraid to talk to me!) and being aware of how much we characterize God as a "he." I now agree that it is something to which we as a church need to be attentive. I'm not going to get into that too much here, but trust that there are lots of personal and theological reasons for my change of heart.

Here's where I still have a gripe. On a final exam the other day, I found myself using the phrase "God God's self" in order to avoid employing a masculine pronoun. I HATE writing or saying "God's self." Since English doesn't have a neutral pronoun, it may be the only viable solution, but it feels so impersonal. Sure, it's a useful construction for highlighting God's transcendence and omnipotence, but if you always emphasize that aspect of God's being, you run the risk of forgetting that this is a personal, relational God.

I'm almost tempted to start writing "God Yourself" or "God Thyself," realizing that the switch from 3rd to 2nd person could be confusing. But the idea came to me after recalling Buber's I and Thou. Buber says that we address things and people either as an "it," which we may use, or as a "thou," with which we may enter into relationship. I don't want to address God as an "it." I want to address God as a "thou." Though of course, on the other end of the spectrum, when we abandon language that reminds us of God's omnipotence, we are tempted to make faith all about Jesus as our personal buddy.

This post is jumbled and inarticulate because I don't have an answer and am mostly thinking out loud. I almost want to invent a gender neutral 3rd person pronoun to use for God, though referring to "God shimself" just reminds me of cruel jokes we made in middle school and sounds silly. Any thoughts?

Monday, May 31, 2010

New Blog Layout!

So, clearly, I'm using a new template. I downloaded it from BTemplates and modified it to be more distinctly me. Photoshop is a wonderful thing, and knowing HTML is handy (sometimes even in ways that matter).

Another thing I did to reorganize my blog was that I completely changed my labelling system. I realized that tagging every post with as many descriptors as possible is great for YouTube videos, not so great for blogs. So I narrowed it down to topics that I am labelling using mostly Bible verses, except for the series I have. Here's a brief explanation of each:

There is also a label called Wisdom from the Saints, which includes various quotations I like, as well as Field Notes and What I'm Reading. Enjoy! :)

Field Notes #8: Memorial Day Off (Sorta Kinda)

I was hoping to spend this Memorial Day reading by the pool. Sadly, the weather has crushed my dreams. However, Mark is out back grilling now since the rain has let up a bit, so we'll still have our cookout in a way.

The church office is closed today, but I had already planned to be working from home, especially since I'm planning to be out of town Friday and Saturday. Plus I just have some cool ideas for things and want to work. I spent most of the morning brainstorming themes, Scripture and music for these alternative worship services we're planning for youth and young adults, and it was awesome. At one point I just stopped and thought, This is my job. I can't believe that this is my job. I feel energized. I'm doing cool stuff for Jesus that isn't a form of procrastination but is actually my job. Way cool.

We're looking at doing this new worship service (which needs a name...ideas?) on Sunday evenings every other week. I emailed a bunch of the youth leaders to get their thoughts, and I also asked them about something Val had reminded me about--planning a weekday activity of some sort for the youth. We could do lots of cool things, whether service, fellowship or formation, so I'll find out what they've done in the past and what they might enjoy. I definitely want to try and bring them to The Upper Room in Statesville when I play there on June 25.

I've also been thinking about possibly teaching a weeknight class maybe every other week. I've been feeling drawn to the Psalms as a topic, and I've already drafted an outline of a 4-part series looking at the Psalms as prayers, as music, as poetry and wrestling with the psalms of vengeance. Val is supportive but warned me these sorts of things, especially in the summer, usually draw pretty small numbers. I'm OK with that. We'll see what comes of it.

My other work item I want to start on today is sermon preparation. I'm preaching next Sunday. Egads! I've briefly looked at the lectionary texts and didn't get a whiffle (that's what some of my high school friend in youth group called a movement of the Holy Spirit), so I'll revisit them in a bit. I may even depart from the lectionary. Horror of horrors! But it's promotion Sunday, when HCUMC celebrates high school and college graduates as well as children moving from elementary to middle school and from middle to high school. I may choose something that would work well with that.

Burger time. Later I'm planning to watch Gattaca. I rented it yesterday along with Children of Men, which I watched last night (and which might get its own post someday due to one particularly moving scene). It's like I'm having my own personal futuristic dystopia film series.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Beth Nielsen Chapman: Back to Love

My dad heard Beth Nielsen Chapman perform at a conference, spoke to her afterwards and brought me back a signed copy of her new album, Back to Love. I procrastinated on listening to the whole thing, but when I did it was twice back-to-back, just for starters.

I've been describing Beth's sound to people as something like "Joni Mitchell meets the Indigo Girls meets Alison Krauss." Her style is a wonderful blend of folk, country, a little bluegrass and lots of soul. She has a truly unique voice that has a rich sound I haven't heard much before.

And her songs are beautiful! I'm talking musically and lyrically. As the album title would suggest, every song on here has something to do with love, be it love of another person or love of God. The simple, prayerful "How We Love" asserts, "All that matters in the end is how we love;" the subtly groovy "I Can See Me Loving You" (my favorite track at the moment) includes the terribly romantic line, "All I know is from the moment I laid eyes on you, you're as far as I can see." Every line is sung with genuine passion and playfulness--there are at least two laughs embedded in the vocals of this album, which just makes me smile. :) See?

Field Notes #7: "Blended" Worship, Special Songs and Special Pets

This morning was our first "blended" service at Hill's Chapel. The 9:00 contemporary service and the 11:00 traditional service have been collapsed into one 10:00 worship hour for the summer. I thought things went really well--we opened with 3 contemporary songs ("Forever," "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Sanctuary"), had 2 special songs (more on those in a minute) and also sang 2 hymns ("My Hope Is Built" and "It Is Well"). Here's a picture of Val giving the children's message--they blew out a birthday candle and made a wish for the church (in reference to Pentecost, the birthday of the church, which was last Sunday), then Val told them about the young girl, Genese, a Haitian girl whom HCUMC is sponsoring through World of God. They then lit another candle and made a wish for Genese.

The two special songs deserve their own explanation in conjunction with Val's sermon for today. The passage she preached on was from the book of Romans:

Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand; and we boast in our hope of sharing the glory of God. And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us. -- Romans 5:1-5

That is a wonderful message of hope and encouragement. However, Val actually turned this passage on its head somewhat, because although those words are true, when taken a certain way they can actually create harmful attitudes. If we aren't careful, we run the risk of saying that suffering is a gift from God to make us stronger--but God does not want his children to suffer any more than a human parents wants his or her son or daughter to suffer. And God does not inflict pain or evil upon us to test our faith or to make us better Christians. Bad things happen because we are broken people living in a broken world, and sometimes trials come and seem to have no redemptive qualities or life lessons, and to reduce them to such is to trivialize the issue.

Our two special songs today set up this message. The first one was "Held" by Natalie Grant, which I played. This deeply moving song was written after a friend of hers lost her 2-month-old baby. I've sung this song before and I absolutely love it because it looks suffering right in the eye and refuses to rationalize or justify it. The anguished cries of the bereft--"to think that providence would take a child from his mother while she prays is appalling"--are painfully real, and the chorus does not try to take the confusion and anger away. Natalie sings, "the promise was, when everything fell, we'd be held." God does not promise to make everything better or to reveal some divine purpose for unimaginable tragedies; he promises to hold us in our hurt.

The second song, a special piece the choir sang, is another beautiful anthem of trust. "You Are Mine" by David Haas lifts themes from the following Bible verses:

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine." -- Isaiah 43:1

"Be still and know that I am God." -- Psalm 46:10

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you." -- John 14:27

Haas writes fantastically beautiful melodies. "Blest Are They" is another favorite of mine, a musical setting of the Beatitudes. Between those two songs and the opening praise tunes, I think the service set up the Scripture reading and Val's sermon very well. And of course, "My Hope Is Built" reinforced the theme--"When all around my soul gives way, he then is all my hope and stay"--as did "It Is Well"--"Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, 'It is well, it is well with my soul.'"
__________

On a completely unrelated and much lighter note, I brought my two pet mice back from Charlotte with me this weekend. Here's a funny video of Lilly the Yorkie meeting Abby and Mrs. Jingles (sort of).

Friday, May 28, 2010

What I'm Reading #5: Praying the Psalms (Walter Brueggemann)

Praying the Psalms: Engaging Scripture and the Life of the Spirit, by Walter Brueggemann

OK, so I actually read Walter Brueggemann's Praying the Psalms for my Old Testament class this past semester, but especially because we didn't write a paper on it or anything (and because I loved it), I feel the need to reflect on it and share it.

(By the way, the page I linked to for Brueggemann is from Theopedia. What is that?!)

This book has 5 chapters, which broke it into manageable chunks that I read a day at a time, simultaneously completing my spring break reading assignment and discovering a new source of devotion and reflection.

The first is called "Letting Experience Touch the Psalter." Brueggemann points out that we live most of our lives between two extremes--that of crisis and that of elation. Rarely do we stay long in the place of equilibrium for which we long. But this is the truth of what Brueggemann calls "the rawness of life," and this is where the Psalmist meets us. In the Psalms, the anger is frightening and the joy seems naive at times. But this is how the Psalms touch our experience, and, amazingly enough, they are affected by our experience.

The next chapter, "The Liberation of Language," encourages the reader to appreciate and unleash the richness of the language in the Psalms. Brueggemann warns against the danger of taking the Psalms as basically positive and descriptive in nature--if we do that, he says, "the Psalms can probably be managed and comprehended and rendered powerless." Life is often unpredictable, and we are not as in control as we would like. We need to relinquish our need for control, reading the Psalms in a creative, transformative way instead of domesticating them.

To further the discussion of language, Brueggemann begins to locate it in the next section, "Language Appropriate to a Place." He writes, "Our lives always move between the pit and the wing"--the pit of Sheol and the protective wing of God. The psalms of trust are almost always located in the pit, and the very expression of hope in and reliance on God in a place of despair "is a first gesturing of transformed circumstance." One often cannot see the fruit of hope while still in the pit, but the very act of expressing that hope draws us toward that promise of redemption.

In chapter four, "Christians in 'Jewish' Territory," Brueggemann explores a touchy subject: the use of definitively Jewish scripture by Christians. Brueggemann says that it is important to acknowledge the profound Jewish-ness of the Psalms and through them to pray for the Jews, not as a condescension, but as a joining in the cries of the Jews throughout history, "for Jews are a paradigm of the deepest longings and yearnings of all humanity." Praying the Psalms is an act of seeking solidarity with the oppressed, those whom the world rejects but by whom God stands firm. Brueggemann says that we must pray the Psalms "as Jews"--not by pretending to be Jewish or by adding a sort of Christian flair to co-opted Jewish practices, but by understanding and exercising the concreteness, embodied-ness, candor, hope and passion that are distinctly Jewish traits of the Psalms.

The last part of the book is perhaps the most difficult: "Vengeance: Human and Divine." The imprecatory psalms make most Christian uncomfortable, and understandably so. However, Brueggemann says that the presence of real anger and desire for revenge is a reflection of our own brokenness--"The real theological problem...is not that vengeance is there in the Psalms, but that it is here in our midst." To avoid the psalms of vengeance is to ignore a fundamental, if embarrassing, piece of humanity: our ability to hate. When thoughts of hatred enter our minds, they seem frighteningly powerful and destructive; but the Psalms offer us an opportunity to let go of these desires, and when we express them, we find that they are not as destructive as we feared. Dietrich Bonhoeffer pointed out in his book Psalms: The Prayer Book of the Bible that the imprecatory Psalms never call for a person to take vengeance, but for God to do so. Brueggemann says that the act of acknowledging God's right and ability to take revenge releases us from its power. God bears our vengeance--and the crucifixion of Christ was a staggering act of God bearing his own vengeance for our sakes.

I love this book for how it demonstrates the Psalms' understanding of the whole of humanity, even our anger and despair. This helped me feel encouraged that whatever we may be dealing with, God can take it--even if that means screaming at him. God wants our whole selves, and praying the Psalms gives us a Scriptural basis for how to offer that to him.


Favorite Quotations

"While we all yearn for [equilibrium], it is not very interesting and does not produce great prayer or powerful song."

"[The Psalms] assert not that God will be or has promised to be a refuge, but that God is refuge right in the present circumstance."

"Thus the use of the Psalm of trust while still in the pit is an act of profound hope which permits new life. Expressing one's trust in God's sheltering wings is a bold assertion that the power of the pit has been broken."

"To pray with the Jews is to be aware of the solidarity with the chosen of God whom the world rejects."

"When we learn to pray these prayers faithfully, we shall all be scandalized."

"To affirm that vengeance belongs to God is an act of profound faith. Conversely, to try to keep some vengeance for self and to withhold it from God is to mistrust God, as though we could do it better than God. Affirmation of God's vengeance is in fact a yielding."

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Field Notes #6: Local Coffee, Fighting with Powerpoint, & More Old Folks

Why am I up this late? I don't even know. I'm exhausted.

But here's my field ed update. I'm still trying to figure out a routine for myself during the week, since my "office hours" are flexible, and this morning I tried something new. Once I had gotten up and gotten dressed, I went to Dilworth Coffee @ Denver. It was a great way to start my morning--had my own chill journalling time, drank an Italian cream soda (which wasn't on the menu, but I told the barista to add half-and-half to my vanilla Italian soda and she was fascinated), finished making my info sheet for possible field trips for the older adults at church, and so on. I also gave them one of my CDs in the hopes that I can play there sometime this summer--they have a neat little patio where they apparently have music sometimes. It being so close to HCUMC, I could hopefully get a crowd to come out from the church if it's an early show. :)

Most of my time in the office today was spent helping (or trying to help) LeaAnne with the powerpoint setup for Sunday. I made a slideshow to play while the choir sings David Haas' beautiful anthem "You Are Mine," so we had to do some problem-solving to figure out the best way to integrate that into the worship service.

Janet Howie took me out to lunch at the Dragon Buffet (Chinese) (oh and that link goes to www.LakeNormanFoodie.com, a blog I just discovered and am now following), which was nice. I learned that she has lived in Denver/Lowesville for 79 years and has been a member of HCUMC for the same amount of time. (Hint: she's 79 years old.) Many of her children and grandchildren live very near her, which seems to be the case with a number of the families I've met around here. It got me thinking--I guess I quality as a "city girl," and in that context, there's this idea that you're supposed to go to college and get away from your family. That's probably even more the case for Duke grads, who aren't supposed to move back home after graduation (but several of my friends did. Go c/o '09!). But there's a sense of closeness and loyalty within families that gets lost in urban living, I think.

Another thing that got me thinking was my first home visit, which I went on with Pastor Val this afternoon. We went to see Marie, a very sweet woman who unfortunately has been sick for almost a year now. She said she had only been able to make it to church 3 times since last October. I had met her husband, Ron, yesterday at the coffee break, and he had shared then about how he was appreciating his wife so much more now that he was trying to do more in the way of housework and even sometimes cooking. Marie has been struggling with nausea for a long time, and she told us that the other morning she felt like she really wanted cantaloupe, so Ron ran out to the store to buy one. Seeing and hearing how this older man was taking care of his sick wife as best he could was touching but also a little sad. I've always wanted to live to be old enough to be the awesome old lady who can say anything she wants and get away with it, and I think part of why I don't like hospitals and nursing homes is that I don't like to be faced with the reality of aging. In the car on the way back to HCUMC, Val and I talked about how we both want not to be a burden on our loved ones. It makes me sad, because I know that more than just about anything my grandfather wants to die quietly in his sleep and not be a bother to anyone. But he's getting old, and his health is slipping in many ways--and he knows it. I'll probably be musing plenty more on spirituality and aging as the summer goes on. Today I was left with a vague sense of sadness more than anything.

Also, it was darn hot today (please note Thursday's high, not the current temperature, which is actually pretty nice). I went for a bike ride around 4:00 and I still don't think I'm re-hydrated enough. Crazy.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I'm Not Even Going to Call This a "Field Note" Because It's So Random

I took this picture today out on my bike ride:

This is why I shouldn't be allowed to use Photoshop.

OK, so Homer Simpson wasn't really there, but I am very close to the McGuire Nuclear Station. I remember when I lived in Davidson they distributed potassium iodine pills to protect our thyroids in the case of a nuclear meltdown. For one thing, how about a pill to protect, you know, something useful? For another thing, I don't HAVE a thyroid, so the joke's on you, suckers!

Field Notes #5: Old Cars, Old Folks

After some lovely quiet time out on the fishing pier I first visited last night (a spider had spun a web over the end of the pier, where I had been sitting--I left it alone), I drove over to the church and was greeted by this sight in the parking lot. This is Frank's 1950 Chevy Deluxe. Apparently he has a 1930-something...something. (I don't know much about cars. OK, I don't know anything about cars.)

Val hosted a coffee break for the "older" men this morning at the church--coffee, OJ, strawberries with marshmallow/cream cheese dip and sugar-free apple crisp. Yum. And one of the men, a former pastor at HCUMC, told me he knew my grandfather and that he told him this joke (say it out loud for it to make sense):

Q: What does a lemon pie and the third finger on my left hand have in common?
A: They've got meringue on them.

To put this in perspective, one time when my grandfather was moving to a new church, the congregation he was leaving gave him a gift: a book entitled "Jokes We Hope Tom Will Tell Again." It was full of blank pages.

After the coffee break, we joined a bigger group of the seniors at Lakeshore BBQ for lunch. I lowered the average age drastically. These folks are so nice. I really enjoyed hanging out with them.

We also picked out music today for this coming Sunday's worship service. Since we're moving to one "blended" service for the summer, we tried to get a variety of styles. We're going to start out with 3 praise tunes: "Forever," "Blessed Be Your Name" and "Sanctuary." Later in the service, we'll sing two hymns: "My Hope Is Built" and "It Is Well." I'm also going to do a solo--"Held" by Natalie Grant. The passage from Romans, on which Val will be preaching, is all about suffering producing endurance, but her approach will turn it on its head a bit. More about that on Sunday. Sadly, Art, who plays drums, will be out of town this weekend. Bummer.

Val put me to work researching ideas for activities for the senior adults in the church. Like the Explorations in Antiquity Center in LaGrange, GA, or the new Billy Graham Library in Charlotte. Apparently the seniors have been clamoring for things to do, so we're looking into some field trips and activities for them.

We also finalized a sponsorship of a Haitian child named Genese through World of God, an organization started by a Myers Park UMC (Charlotte, NC) church mem
ber to help children in Haiti (mostly in Bayonnais, one of the poorest regions of the country) and in Liberia. I have a sponsored child through World of God as well. It's sort of a localized version of Compassion International, another great organization.

In a bit, I'm gonna go home, go for a nice, long bike ride, shower, then come back to church for music/choir practice at 6:30. Looking forward to it! :)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Field Notes #4: Worship Planning and Church Council Meeting

Today was pretty low-key. I've got to do better about getting myself going in the mornings, though. I can pretty much come into the office whenever I need to, but I've found that I'm not remotely productive at home (er, at the Edwards'), so I either need to go into the office earlier or find a nearby coffee shop to hit up before going to church (I like that idea better). It'll be different once I move into the parsonage, but I'm gonna try a new approach tomorrow.

I fleshed out and completed my side of the Learning-Serving Covenant today, which my supervisor and I began working on yesterday. I feel lame that I have such vague "learning goals"--basically that I want to get more of the big picture of church ministry. Lame. But both accurate and challenging. :)

I spent most of today working on worship stuff. I dove into some reading and resources, many of which my pastor had given me, others I had brought along myself. I started picking out songs that might work for worship this Sunday based on the lectionary texts (Val will probably preach on Romans 5:1-5), which also involved me revising my arrangement of "Be Thou My Vision," pulling out crumpled scores of Gary's hymn settings, and hacking into Gary's Planning Center Online account to swipe charts (don't tell). I'll be interested to see how worship pans out at HCUMC this summer with the one "blended" service. I'm pretty excited about it. Hopefully we can successfully walk the line between "traditional" and "contemporary" (though I really liked the third "Favorite Quotation" that I posted here from one of the books I looked at today).

I went home around 4, went for a short run (goodness it was hot out), showered and hung out for a bit before going out to dinner (Showmars for the second time both in the past 3 days and ever in my life) with the folks who live next door to where I'm staying, the Reids. Their daughter Abby is about to graduate from high school and go on to App State. Emily and Neil are both very active in the church, so we went straight from dinner to a church council meeting. I was mostly there to observe and just to say hi, and I won't lie and say it was the most scintillating hour of my life, but it was interesting to get a brief glimpse into just about every facet of the church, and I appreciated their efficiency. I've sat through church meetings that made me want to gouge my own eyeballs out with a spoon, but this group was on target, making sure they didn't miss anything but also not wasting time.

After Emily dropped me off back at the Edwards', I went for a barefoot stroll around the neighborhood, talked to Gary on the phone for a while and enjoyed the nice evening. I ran into a couple that used to go to Davidson UMC, where my dad was the pastor for 12 years--I'm pretty sure the wife was the one who worked as a crossing guard at the (best) elementary school (ever) and took me home the day my dad forgot to pick me up from kindergarten. Way cool. I managed to pick my way down a dirt and gravel trail to a little fishing pier overlooking the lake, and I'll leave you with the view as captured by my dinky little camera phone (though you have to admit, it's not a half-bad picture):

What I'm Reading #4: ReConnecting Worship (Rob Weber with Stacy Hood)

ReConnecting Worship: Where Tradition & Innovation Converge by Rob Weber, with Stacy Hood

Here's yet another worship resource my field ed supervisor gave me. ReConnecting Worship was written by Rob Weber with Stacy Hood. In the foreword, Leonard Sweet writes, "In this wonderful book by Rob Weber and Stacy Hood, there is a keen sense that 'tradition' does not mean going backward, but not wanting to go forward without all the riches and resources available. They understand the difference between innovation that has been merely tinctured by tradition and innovation that has arisen from and been anointed in the tradition. Relevancy has too often equated with 'recency.'" This book is a guide to different styles of worship, what to expect in terms of reactions to change, and it comes as part of a kit that includes video of teaching and storytelling as well as resources for music ministry. The main part of the book begins with a prayer to guide the process of thinking about and developing worship, and its format is that of a week-by-week guide to integrating the readings into the life of the church.

Weber and Hood frequently return to the model of asking questions, especially "why" questions, and allowing space for worship to answer those. One image I particularly liked was that of a Jewish Passover Seder. The tradition is that the youngest person present asks a series of questions--"Why do we eat bitter herbs?"; "Why do we use the cup?"; and so on--and answers are given that hep to instruct the children and remind the adults of the rich symbolism inherent to the meal. I once attended a Seder with my family at the home of the Rabbi of Temple Israel, the conservative Jewish temple in Charlotte, NC. What I learned from that experience is that Seders are not only educational but also lots of fun--the table was littered with plastic bugs that we all held when reading about the plague of locusts (Exodus 10:1-20), and we got to throw kosher marshmallows at each other to enact the plague of hail (Exodus 9:13-24). I like this model of combining question, answer and play as one that can be applied to worship. Competing to see who could peg the rabbi's yarmulke with a marshmallows might have been a bit irreverent, but it was a creative way of engaging people of all ages (and in this case, of different creeds!) in the Biblical narrative. The materials were new, the stories old. That's what worship should have the freedom to do and to be.


Favorite Quotations

"Our diverse individual expressions of worship vary in size and shape. Like distinct raindrops, all of our worship finds its source and goal in the deep pool of God's presence and activity."

"Deep listening mitigates conflict, but more importantly it is evidence of the humility that God anticipates in worship."

"The words traditional and contemporary are used as if we share a definition in common. The truth is that these terms have become heavily value-laden and are always used from a particular interpretation to preserve one meaning or another."

"As the church seeks to discern how best to shape itself in the emerging century, the question is not helpfully presented as a choice between traditional and contemporary forms of expression. It is much more mature to describe a choice between a dynamic and productive use of tension or a destructive reaction to that same tension. The solution to this difficult struggle is not found in any one particular form but in a recovery of the original identity of the church as the people of God."

"Worshiping is like checking a compass to keep us oriented toward God and God's purposes for our lives. Navigators do not check a compass because it is entertaining, or because it is a really attractive compass, or because 'it is the same kind of compass my great-great-grandfather had,' or because 'that's the way we've always done it.' Navigators check the compass to orient themselves toward their intended destination. All worship should find its origin in this purpose."

"[Kierkegaard] said that the audience for worship is not the congregation but God. [...] Participants are shaped, formed, and built up through worship, but those benefits are byproducts of an authentic worship of God."

Monday, May 24, 2010

What I'm Reading #3: Redesigning Worship (by Kim Miller)

Redesigning Worship: Creating Powerful God Experiences, by Kim Miller

Redesigning Worship is one of the books that my field ed supervisor, Dr. Val Rosenquist, gave me to read as part of my worship learning experience at Hill's Chapel United Methodist Church this summer. The author, Kim Miller, is Campus Designer at Ginghamsburg Church in Tipp City, OH. That a church would have such a staff position is fascinating in and of itself and definitely piqued my interest in this book.

I'm probably not going to read this cover to cover, partly because some of this is just not applicable to the context of HCUMC and partly because I have a zillion other books I want to read. But there are definitely great resources here. There are even sample scripts for drama and media to incorporate into worship, part of the approach of "multisensory worship" that Miller emphasizes. Miller also stresses the importance of the spoken word to communicate and motivate. She says that God speaks to us in many different ways and can reveal himself through all sorts of art forms, but ultimately it is verbal language that convicts and explains. As someone who is very interested in the role of the arts in worship, this is important for me to keep at the forefront.

I do have one qualm about this book (remember, I'm only reading portions, so I may have missed something). I saw a subheading in the section about building a worship team entitled "Seek Only Mission-Driven People." Along the same line(s), I read a quote from Mike Slaughter that I at first wrote down as a favorite quote, but later removed: "Ironically, worship is not the central focus of church, rather the process of focusing the church for God's mission in the world." Now, I do not fundamentally disagree with this; much of Slaughter's point is that there is a problem when people see the whole of their life of faith as being contained in one hour on Sunday mornings. That is absolutely true. I have heard pastors deliver the simple benediction, "The worship is ended; let the service begin," and I love it. But I am wary of anyone who is too quick to treat worship as a means to an end. It may be that I have too narrow an idea of what defines "mission" in my own mind, but I worry that the admonition to "seek only mission-driven people" creates a worship team whose outlook might be too myopic. I like the idea of balancing out folks who are gung-ho on the mission front with those who are deeply prayerful and spiritual. Worship is about forming us to go out, but it is also an end in an of itself, and we should not be so quick to rush out and be Christ's hands and feet that we forget to kneel at his feet.

But I think the witness of Ginghamsburg, Mike Slaughter and Kim Miller is a prophetic one (and it is entirely likely that either Slaughter or Miller would read the above paragraph and agree with me). The focus on the Word; how they acknowledge and embrace tension and conflict in worship; the determination not to sacrifice truth to relevance; all of these are things from which the broader church can and should learn.


Favorite Quotations

"If there is no tension with the message, the team doesn't feel it's worship worthy."

"No matter what the theme or occasion for the worship gathering, the word must drive the worship. Everything else we do must support and enhance it."

"God's redemptive purpose is to get more of the church into the world rather than coaxing the world into the church." -- Mike Slaughter, Ginghamsburg Church

"We must show the relevance of Jesus to our culture but also the radical difference, the 'worldview' of Jesus in the culture. Too often we have strived to be relevant but ceased to be revolutionary." -- Mike Slaughter

"Worship loses the prophetic voice of God when we fear people and not God." -- Mike Slaughter

Field Notes #3: Monday, Monday (First Day in the Office!)

I've been reading Henri Nouwen's The Inner Voice of Love, a collection of spiritual imperatives and reflections, as a daily devotional for a while now. Today's entry was entitled "Keep Trusting God's Call." What a perfect admonition to keep in mind on my first day at the office.

I came in this morning and began making a list of supplies for Vacation Bible School. We had a planning meeting for VBS yesterday afternoon, and I was assigned to be in charge of the games. We're using Cokesbury's "Galactic Blast" VBS curriculum, so the planned activities include "Planet Toss" and "Creation Station Relay." I'm always skeptical of curricula like this, but these activities actually look pretty fun.

I also got to write my first contributions to "The Hill's Chapel House Call," HCUMC's monthly newsletter. I drew up two short articles, one about VBS and the other introducing myself to the congregation.

I got to have lunch in the office with Pastor Val and LeaAnne, the administrative assistant, which was cool. Val and I coordinated calendars and set a third Sunday for me to preach, June 6 (I was already scheduled for July 4 and 18).

One highlight today was that Val gave me a copy of the church directory. This may seem like a small thing, but I'm actually really glad to have it. I've met so many people in the past few days and yet I've forgotten so many names already. I'm going to do something that my dad does at his church (which has quite a few more members than HCUMC, so it'll be more manageable for me): each day, I'll take one page of the directory and pray for all the families and individuals on it. I think this will be a good exercise not only to help me learn names and faces but also intentionally to incorporate HCUMC's membership into my prayer life.

This afternoon, Val and I began to complete the Learning-Serving Covenant required as a part of field ed. The idea is for each student to set learning goals and to establish guidelines for supervision and so on. Even though this is my first field ed placement, I was already familiar with the covenant, as we had used in in the PathWays summer program. But it was really good to go through it with Val, and I got a lot out of the conversations we had when we went off on tangents.

Since I'll be involved in helping plan and lead worship a great deal this summer, Val lent me a few books that I'm super excited about, much to my embarrassment. They are: ReConnecting Worship: Where Tradition & Innovation Converge, by Rob Weber with Stacy Hood; Redesigning Worship: Creating Powerful God Experiences, by Kim Miller; and A Royal "Waste" of Time: The Splendor of Worshiping God and Being Church for the World, by Marva J. Dawn. That last one is the sequel to Reaching out Without Dumbing Down, one of the many books I am determined to read this summer. All of this will surely show up in this blog later.

After work, I came back to the Edwards' house, where we had dinner and then headed off to aerobics class at the church, which Debbie Edwards teaches. That was an intense workout! And we did it all to techno hymns, which was pretty amusing. I'm glad I went, not only for the exercise but also because it gave me the opportunity to connect with a few more women from HCUMC. Debbie holds that class twice a week, so I'll try to start going regularly.

And now I'm bushed. (Do people actually say that?) I'm gonna try to get started on one of these books, but I may well fall asleep reading. Which isn't such a bad thing. :)

A Quote on Worship


"Worship is love preparing to move."

Author unknown (from the Ekklesia Church @ Raleigh website)

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Field Notes #2: Sittin' on the Dock of the Lake (First Sunday/Pentecost!)

If I look up from my laptop right now, this is what I see:


Guys, my field placement is sweet. Not only am I living at a sweet lake house before moving into my own newly renovated space right next to the church, the folks at HCUMC are wonderful. I was a little nervous at church this morning, eager to meet the congregation but still a little antsy about the whole thing, but I felt like almost every single congregation member came up and introduced themselves to me this morning, telling me how excited they are for me to be there and offering all sorts of assistance. I've got folks who want to take me out on jet skis, a private detective offering to help keep an eye on me when I move into the parsonage, and tons of people feeding me--I already got taken out to lunch today. Tonight, we had a "pounding" (my boyfriend hates the term, understandably), and people brought various foods and a number of gift cards to Wal-Mart and other grocery stores, as well as gift certificates to a local grill. They even passed around a sign-up sheet for people to take me to or cook me lunch or dinner throughout the summer. I am getting taken care of for real. I've even met my twin (I have a 7th-grade doppelganger named Maddie) and got recruited to the softball team.

Anyway, needless to say, the pounding was great fun. But I haven't even talked about church this morning. Today is Pentecost. Happy Birthday, Church!! Today was the last Sunday of two worship services (9:00 and 10:00) at Hill's Chapel UMC, which I was glad I got to experience. The Family Life Center (where worship is being held while the new sanctuary is being built) was wonderfully decorated with red for the occasion--vestments, streamers, geraniums, you name it.

The first service has a bit more of a contemporary feel--Art plays drums and we get a few praise choruses. I led the call to worship and sang with the lead singers. Between services, I sat in on an adult Sunday School class, and at 11 I sang with the choir. I'm really looking forward to getting more involved with music and worship at HCUMC. Their worship director, Jeana Borman, also serves as accompanist and vocal coach at Lenoir-Rhyne University, so she's great.

I also really appreciated Pastor Val's sermon this morning. She preached from Acts 2:1-20, the narrative of the first Pentecost. One thing she said that stuck with me referred to verse 13, where, witnessing the excitement of the disciples as suddenly they are able to understand the languages of people from far and wide proclaiming God's power, "others sneered and said, ‘They are filled with new wine.’" Pastor Val said, "They weren't drunk on new wine; they were new wine." She referenced Mark 2:22, where Jesus points out that new wine must be put into new wineskins; old wineskins will burst. The Holy Spirit, Pastor Val said, was doing a new thing on that first Pentecost, which proclaimed that the church was not for any one people, race, culture or language, but was to deliver the Gospel to all nations.

So yeah, I'd say I had a good first Sunday. :)

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Field Notes #1: Arrival in Stanley

Okey dokey. Here's my next blog series: "Field Notes." Tomorrow, I officially start my summer field education placement. The Field Ed program at Duke Divinity School offers summer and academic year opportunities for students in church and agency placements, many of which (mine included) are funded by the Duke Endowment. Two units of field ed, one of which should be in a church setting, are required for successful completion of the M.Div. degree. Here are a few quips from the Field Ed website:

Field Education provides an opportunity for students to discern their vocational identity through contextual learning. Settings vary, from parish to non-profit and from domestic to international.

As part of the Field Education program, each student commits to:

  • Explore ministerial roles and identity, work to clarify and test his or her call, build and strengthen skills for ministry
  • 40 hours per week of preparation and presence for a 10-week summer placement
  • 13-15 hours weekly of preparation and presence for a 30-week academic year placement

This summer, I'll be at Hill's Chapel United Methodist Church in Stanley, North Carolina.

The church isn't quite where Google Maps has Stanley tagged, but it's basically on the west side of Lake Norman. At the moment, I'm actually staying at a house that is right on the lake. I'll be moving into the old parsonage, but it's currently being renovated (the building will also include new offices, meeting space and more--it looks GREAT, even if it's still a bit of a mess), so for now I'm with the Edwards family. They are wonderful folks with a beautiful home and two adorable Yorkies. Check out the video below to see Lilly, one of their pups (who is sitting on the bed with me as I type this), begging for my pita bites.




(I LOVE dogs.)

Earlier, the pastor, Dr. Val Rosenquist, gave me a tour of the church. They recently tore down their old sanctuary and education building, but I was surprised by just how much space they still have. Their Family Life Center is a great location, where their contemporary service usually meets and where all worship is currently being held. They usually have a 9:00 a.m. contemporary service and an 11:00 a.m. traditional service, but starting May 30, they'll go to one blended service at 10:00 a.m. I'm looking forward to seeing what the differences are in the normal services tomorrow and then learning what it means to have a "blended" service. I'm hoping to have some opportunities to observe or help with worship planning and maybe with music, too.

Besides great spaces for worship, meetings, Sunday School, events and more, HCUMC has some really fun stuff out back. Behind the church is a playground, a baseball field, a basketball court, a track, a volleyball court and a picnic patio. All those things are open to the public, and apparently they are all frequented by members of the community. What a great hospitality and outreach resource! I'll definitely be jogging the track some this summer, and I brought my softball glove and can hopefully track down a basketball, so who knows.

Tomorrow I'll report about my first Sunday at HCUMC! I'm now off to have dinner with the Edwards and get ready to play music at Maddi's Southern Bistro in Huntersville's Birkdale Village tonight at 9. Music is going to be the sort of me-time supplement to my field ed--I had a fun show last night at eeZ Fusion & Sushi, also in Birkdale.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

What I'm Reading #2: The Irrelevance and Relevance of the Christian Message (Paul Tillich)

The Irrelevance and Relevance of the Christian Message, by Paul Tillich

This slim volume is actually a collection of three lectures delivered by Paul Tillich. The description on the back of the 2007 edition aptly describes its content:

The Irrelevance and Relevance of the Christian Message is a transcript of Paul Tillich's 1963 Earl Lectures at the Graduate Theological Union. Delivered just two years before his death, these lectures present Tillich's heartfelt and deeply personal understanding of the relevance of Christian preaching and Christian theology.

Why, Tillich asks, has the Christian message become seemingly irrelevant to contemporary society? Is the gospel able to give answers to the questions raised by the existentialist analysis of the human predicament? Yes, he answers--but in order to do so Christian teaching and preaching need to undergo dramatic renewal, the root of which requires an affirmation of love as central to Christian identity. Further, we need to recognize that this task is not limited to preachers and theologians; all of us together are responsible for the irrelevance of the relevance of the gospel in our time.

I picked up this book at the suggestion of Leif Erik Bergerud (he doesn't know this (well, he does now), but my boyfriend and I refer to him as "Odin" because he totally has a Viking name), my predecessor in managing the New Creation Arts blog. I had posted about Another Level, a church that meets in a bar. I was intrigued by their approach and impressed by how they are able to reach out to a population that usually feels unwelcome in traditional church settings.

This encounter was just one more instance of me wrestling with the question of how far relevance can go before it renders the Christian message meaningless. On the other hand, as Tillich points out, irrelevance makes the gospel just as empty to outsiders (and even to supposed insiders). Tillich's talks were delivered almost 50 years ago, but they are just as alive and relevant (ha) today as they were in his time. I wonder if he ever imagined just how much of a buzzword "relevance" would become. A church I'm familiar with in Durham uses the motto "where reverence meets relevance." I even saw something about a church promoting "contemporvant" ("contemporary" + "relevant") worship.

Of course, there's a delicate balance to be struck here. The problem with getting too fixated on making Christianity relevant is that it makes our culture the standard. One could argue that we should be asking how we can make our society more relevant to the gospel. Of course, that would require a transformation of our world to the point that it would be unrecognizable in many aspects, so that's just not feasible. The gospel needs to be palatable to real people living in the real world. Tillich's suggestion of clinging to a core message of love is a profound move; it takes the gospel straight to the heart of being without compromising it. And his emphasis on the priesthood of all believers makes the participatory nature of faith a central aspect.

I suggest you check this out for yourself. After all, it's only 63 pages long.


Favorite Quotations:

"Tradition is good. Traditionalism is bad."

"What about the attack of 'relativism' against all contents of belief and ethics? There is no relativism with respect to the experience of the Unconditional in oneself. But there is the relativity of all history with respect to the religious symbols and the ethical commands. They are not unconditional. They are historically conditioned and changing. They all stand under the one unconditional criterion: agape, the Christian word for love. This is not a law, but is the negation of every law. It is in itself unconditional because nothing can transcend love and nothing less than love is sufficient. But what love is in the concrete moment is open to the creative understanding of the situation and does not have the character of a law we can define and obey."

"I believe it is the unique greatness of Christianity that it shows the positivity of life in the principle which has had many names in Christian history but which I like to call 'the acceptance of the unacceptable,' namely, the acceptance of us. ...the unacceptable must first be accepted and only then can be transformed."

Monday, May 17, 2010

What I'm Reading #1: The Inner Voice of Love (Henri Nouwen)

One of the first things I did to start organizing my stuff to be packed up for the summer was to visit my bookshelves (there are several around the house) and pull out books that I want to read, which have had to be tabled for the duration of the school year. I've decided that this summer I'm going to start posting here about books I read. This is partly for the benefit of you, gentle reader, but also for my own benefit. In the past I've worked on writing reflections on what I read, which is immensely helpful in retaining information; and if I can keep this up, I have no doubt it will be a useful preaching and teaching resource that will either prevent me from having to dig back through endless volumes or at least assist in that process.

So, without further ado, here is the first installment of "What I'm Reading."

__________


The Inner Voice of Love, by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Henri Nouwen is one of my spiritual heroes. I first discovered him through his book The Return of the Prodigal Son, a profound meditation on the Rembrandt painting of the same name. It was during the reading of that book that I declared Nouwen to be "my spiritual twin." Since then, I have also been moved by his books The Wounded Healer, Compassion and Out of Solitude.

Imagine my delight when I walked into the bathroom a few months ago to find The Inner Voice of Love sitting on top of the toilet. (I live with 5 other people and grew up with a dad who read in the bathroom so frequently that we took to calling it his library, so this did not faze me at all.) I picked it up and hungrily read the introduction, where I learned that "my spiritual twin" at one time went through a 6-month period of deep depression for which he was institutionalized. This threw me for a minute, but I also found it deeply comforting, as this past semester was incredibly difficult for me emotionally; to know that such a religious giant went through psychological struggles not only made him more human, it affirmed me in many ways.

The Inner Voice of Love is a collection of writings from Nouwen's time of trial; the subtitle is "A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom." It is a series of spiritual imperatives on which Nouwen meditates in the midst of deep pain that is potent but also that clings to an often unseen hope. I read the first entry, "Work Around Your Abyss," and immediately went to my computer and ordered a copy online to pick up at Barnes & Noble the next day. Since then, I have been using this book as a sort of daily devotional, reading each imperative with its 1-2 page reflection and meditating on it in my own journalling. It has been directly relevant to the point of being shocking at times, and it has been immensely helpful for my spiritual and emotional growth over the past few months. Each imperative is a candid acknowledgment of Nouwen's personal shortcomings with an admonishment to press on and to seek closer communion with God. This book has fed my deepest hunger, and I will be sad when I finish reading it.


Favorite Quotations

"A seed only flourishes by staying in the ground in which it is sown. When you keep digging the seed up to check whether it is growing, it will never bear fruit." -- from the section "Acknowledge Your Powerlessness"

"The pain of your loneliness may be rooted in your deepest vocation." -- from the section "Find the Source of Your Loneliness"

"Your healing is not a straight line." -- from the section "Keep Returning to the Road to Freedom"

"It is obviously good not to act on your sudden emotions. But you don't have to repress them, either. You can acknowledge them and let them pass by. In a certain sense, you have to befriend them so that you do not become their victim." -- from the section "Befriend Your Emotions"

"God does not require of you what is beyond your ability, what leads you away from God, or what makes you depressed or sad." -- from the section "Claim Your Unique Presence in Your Community"

Thursday, May 6, 2010

"You shall love the alien as yourself"

This morning, I saw this posted as a friend's Facebook status:

"JUST SO I UNDERSTAND THIS...YOU PASS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YRS HARD LABOR, YOU PASS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET SHOT. YOU PASS THE AMERICAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET A JOB, DRIVER'S LICENSE, ALLOWANCE FOR A PLACE TO LIVE, HEALTH CARE, EDUCATION, BILLIONS OF DOLLARS SPENT SO YOU CAN READ A DOCUMENT. WE CARRY PASSPORTS IN OTHER COUNTRIES OR FACE JAIL TIME. REPOST IF YOU AGREE"

My only direct response to this is...so our standards of comparison are North Korea and Afghanistan now? And getting shot in Afghanistan happens a lot more often for a lot more reasons than crossing the border illegally...

My indirect response comes from the fact that when I saw this, I had just read the daily office from the BCP with my housemates. The Old Testament lesson for today is this:

"When an alien resides with you in your land, you shall not oppress the alien. The alien who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you; you shall love the alien as yourself, for you were aliens in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God."
-- Leviticus 19:33-34


I was so grateful for this. I don't really know how to respond to all the nastiness I see getting slung around online over Arizona and immigration and whatnot, and it turns out I don't have to say a thing. I can just point to these verses. Because, interestingly enough, most of the people I know who are rabidly anti-immigration are...Christians. I'm not demonizing those people--I have many friends and relatives who fall into that category. I'm just saying.

I wasn't going to blog about the issue at all, but this news item pushed me over the edge.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I Hate Gender Inclusive Language

...and apparently I like obnoxious blog post titles. Let me just say, I hate gender inclusive language less than I used to. My attitude a few years ago was sort of like, "What the heck is this gender inclusive crap? Women, get over it and stop whining! You can hold your own if you want to." Things have happened in the past few years that have softened that a bit. I find myself correcting gendered language in others' speech and writing (not obsessively, don't be afraid to talk to me!) and being aware of how much we characterize God as a "he." I now agree that it is something to which we as a church need to be attentive. I'm not going to get into that too much here, but trust that there are lots of personal and theological reasons for my change of heart.

Here's where I still have a gripe. On a final exam the other day, I found myself using the phrase "God God's self" in order to avoid employing a masculine pronoun. I HATE writing or saying "God's self." Since English doesn't have a neutral pronoun, it may be the only viable solution, but it feels so impersonal. Sure, it's a useful construction for highlighting God's transcendence and omnipotence, but if you always emphasize that aspect of God's being, you run the risk of forgetting that this is a personal, relational God.

I'm almost tempted to start writing "God Yourself" or "God Thyself," realizing that the switch from 3rd to 2nd person could be confusing. But the idea came to me after recalling Buber's I and Thou. Buber says that we address things and people either as an "it," which we may use, or as a "thou," with which we may enter into relationship. I don't want to address God as an "it." I want to address God as a "thou." Though of course, on the other end of the spectrum, when we abandon language that reminds us of God's omnipotence, we are tempted to make faith all about Jesus as our personal buddy.

This post is jumbled and inarticulate because I don't have an answer and am mostly thinking out loud. I almost want to invent a gender neutral 3rd person pronoun to use for God, though referring to "God shimself" just reminds me of cruel jokes we made in middle school and sounds silly. Any thoughts?

 

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