What I'm Reading #1: The Inner Voice of Love (Henri Nouwen)

One of the first things I did to start organizing my stuff to be packed up for the summer was to visit my bookshelves (there are several around the house) and pull out books that I want to read, which have had to be tabled for the duration of the school year. I've decided that this summer I'm going to start posting here about books I read. This is partly for the benefit of you, gentle reader, but also for my own benefit. In the past I've worked on writing reflections on what I read, which is immensely helpful in retaining information; and if I can keep this up, I have no doubt it will be a useful preaching and teaching resource that will either prevent me from having to dig back through endless volumes or at least assist in that process.

So, without further ado, here is the first installment of "What I'm Reading."

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The Inner Voice of Love, by Henri J. M. Nouwen

Henri Nouwen is one of my spiritual heroes. I first discovered him through his book The Return of the Prodigal Son, a profound meditation on the Rembrandt painting of the same name. It was during the reading of that book that I declared Nouwen to be "my spiritual twin." Since then, I have also been moved by his books The Wounded Healer, Compassion and Out of Solitude.

Imagine my delight when I walked into the bathroom a few months ago to find The Inner Voice of Love sitting on top of the toilet. (I live with 5 other people and grew up with a dad who read in the bathroom so frequently that we took to calling it his library, so this did not faze me at all.) I picked it up and hungrily read the introduction, where I learned that "my spiritual twin" at one time went through a 6-month period of deep depression for which he was institutionalized. This threw me for a minute, but I also found it deeply comforting, as this past semester was incredibly difficult for me emotionally; to know that such a religious giant went through psychological struggles not only made him more human, it affirmed me in many ways.

The Inner Voice of Love is a collection of writings from Nouwen's time of trial; the subtitle is "A Journey Through Anguish to Freedom." It is a series of spiritual imperatives on which Nouwen meditates in the midst of deep pain that is potent but also that clings to an often unseen hope. I read the first entry, "Work Around Your Abyss," and immediately went to my computer and ordered a copy online to pick up at Barnes & Noble the next day. Since then, I have been using this book as a sort of daily devotional, reading each imperative with its 1-2 page reflection and meditating on it in my own journalling. It has been directly relevant to the point of being shocking at times, and it has been immensely helpful for my spiritual and emotional growth over the past few months. Each imperative is a candid acknowledgment of Nouwen's personal shortcomings with an admonishment to press on and to seek closer communion with God. This book has fed my deepest hunger, and I will be sad when I finish reading it.


Favorite Quotations

"A seed only flourishes by staying in the ground in which it is sown. When you keep digging the seed up to check whether it is growing, it will never bear fruit." -- from the section "Acknowledge Your Powerlessness"

"The pain of your loneliness may be rooted in your deepest vocation." -- from the section "Find the Source of Your Loneliness"

"Your healing is not a straight line." -- from the section "Keep Returning to the Road to Freedom"

"It is obviously good not to act on your sudden emotions. But you don't have to repress them, either. You can acknowledge them and let them pass by. In a certain sense, you have to befriend them so that you do not become their victim." -- from the section "Befriend Your Emotions"

"God does not require of you what is beyond your ability, what leads you away from God, or what makes you depressed or sad." -- from the section "Claim Your Unique Presence in Your Community"