Don't BS God

The other day, a friend of mine asked me a question that I get all the time: "Is it OK for me to pray for [insert prayer request here]?"

I have had people ask me if it's OK to pray for healing from cancer and PTSD, for good test grades, for a job, for their boyfriend not to be gay. Depending on who you are and what your faith background is (or isn't), there is almost certainly some confusion about for what it is acceptable to pray.

(Why people ask me, I don't know. I guess that's what I get for putting myself out there publicly as someone who's trying to figure out the God thing, whatever that means.)

I think it's a good question to ask. How we pray is not only an indicator of how we think about God, it can actually form our concept of God. Good prayer habits need to be cultivated so that we aren't just asking for selfish things but also praying for others, being aware of what's going on in the world, and attending to all facets of what should be a multi-level conversation with God.

Prayer does not come naturally to people, especially not in its fullness, which includes the good old ACTS acronym (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication) as well as lament, celebration, etc. Prayer is something about which we need to be intentional because it shapes our view of God, of others and of how we ought to live in this world.

But here's the thing: God doesn't want our BS. God wants us. There is nothing we can say to God that will come as a surprise. Prayer is not about politeness. Seek God's will in prayer, yes; but don't BS God.

If you have a desire that doesn't line up with what you believe God's will to be, guess what? God already knows that, and the only way you can start to reconcile your desires with what is best for you and for others is to be honest about those desires.

My friend who asked if she could pray for her boyfriend not to be gay? She's a pro-gay kind of person, and I'm sure that by now her prayer would be different and she would want to be able to want for him to discover and be comfortable in his true sexuality, but at the time the pain of losing a relationship in such bewildering circumstances was so strong that all she could do was to cry out and beg for it not to be true. And I think God was OK with that.

So. Pray for what you want! Reflect on that continuously, notice patterns in your desires and be willing to be self-critical and seek transformation when necessary, but be honest with God. You can't hide anything from him anyway.