I Like the Way It Hurts

Eminem is a figure that has always interested me. He is phenomenally talented, but his life is so broken and full of anger that a lot of the work he does just turns my stomach. My boyfriend has speculated that if Eminem were to use his talents for the good of others, he could do some incredible things--the whole "From everyone to whom much has been given, much will be required" (Luke 12:48) thing--but he is bound by the world and his rage.

So the first time I heard his new song "Love the Way You Lie," featuring R&B singer Rihanna, I listened with cautious interest. I love that song. Rihanna's hook is catchy (I've started covering it myself as part of an acoustic mash-up with another chart-topping rap song lately), the beat is solid, and the chord progression, simple as it is, adds an element of longing and regret to the sound.

Of course, some of the song's lyrics make me uncomfortable. "Next time I'm just gonna aim my fist at the drywall." "If she ever tries to ----ing leave again, I'm a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire." Yikes. Save for that last part (the parting line in Eminem's rap before Rihanna closes the song out with the hook again), I even like the words of the song, because it seems to be a raw exposure of the cycle of domestic violence. Rihanna herself was a victim of highly publicized violence from her then-boyfriend Chris Brown and has since become an advocate for women in abusive relationships.

But is the song glorifying domestic violence? This article from the Associated Press thoughtfully treats the question. The song's video debut recently added to the controversy, for in it actors Megan Fox and Dominic Monaghan portray a couple locked in a passionate but violent relationship. (I'm embedding the video at the end of this post--I think it's well done, so check it out.)

The question is, how do young people, especially young women, interpret this song and the accompanying video? Artists and entertainers these days tend to just throw things out there and leave their audience to draw their own conclusions, which may or may not be a good thing. Artists like Lady Gaga and Ke$ha (though Gaga is slowly redeeming herself in my eyes to some extent) drive me crazy because they put out all this music glorifying rampant partying, and although friends have argued with me that they're not taking themselves seriously, the average 15-year-old girl isn't necessarily going to catch onto that even if it is the case.

One thing that AP article pointed out is that a song like "Love the Way You Lie" can do something positive, and that is to encourage young people to talk about the issues it brings up. Perhaps the song is intentionally ambiguous in its message, and if young women have someone they can talk to about such things, the questions the lyrics and imagery bring up can be important starters to conversations about relationships, self-worth and more.

The key is that something like this song must be coupled with discussion and education. Not everyone is going to assume that the relationship depicted is a negative example. This makes me think back to my Old Testament class last year, where we took a hard look at some of the war and violence in the Hebrew Bible and talked through the possibility that some of these images are meant as warnings, not as permission to ride to war in the name of God. But without thoughtful, well-informed conversation on the subject, it would be easy to conclude that the Old Testament essentially condones the use of overwhelming military force to the benefit of God's people.

My plea to parents and other adults who are connected to young people is this: don't dismiss or forbid popular music like this. Kids are going to be listening to and talking about Eminem and Rihanna whether you approve or not. Talk to them about the lyrics and the images. Make them think about what they're saying when they sing along to the radio. Without that corrective thought process, kids are ingraining far more into themselves than they or we realize. We can allow songs like "Love the Way You Lie" to glorify domestic violence or to expose it. We have that power.