I Have Decided to Follow Jesus

The following is a slightly tweaked version of a reflection I wrote in my spiritual formation class today. The prompt was to write about a decision.

Yesterday, on the way home, I found a Romans Road pamphlet in the bathroom at a gas station in Thomasville. It's one of those things that takes you through a few passages of Scripture, laying out the basics--"all have sinned"; "the wages of sin is death"; "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us"; "whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved"--all from Romans (hence "Romans Road"--this one even had a road map design in the background). The final panel of the pamphlet has what I've heard called "the sinner's prayer," and it asks if you're ready to make a decision. Are you ready to accept Jesus Christ into your heart? I chuckled to myself and stuck it in my purse.

Last night, I had a conversation about the pamphlet--more so about evangelism in general--with my boyfriend, who comes from an evangelical background. He's a professional musician, and he sings and talks about Jesus at his shows--in coffee houses, shopping malls, bars, you name it. He has been called first and foremost to the un-churched and the de-churched. He tells me stories about "leading people to Christ." He asked me last night how many people I had led to Christ--not in a "you show me yours and I'll show you mine" kind of way, just out of curiosity.

My answer? None. We Methodists don't talk like that. We like to be respectful of other people's beliefs. It reminded me of when one of my best friends started coming to youth group in high school. I was not responsible for her presence there--in fact, she later asked me why I had never invited her to church. Because she had been Unitarian up until then! As it turns out, she was later baptized in that church and is now in seminary. And it never occurred to me to invite her to youth group. Apparently I was worried she might find pizza and name games offensive.

I know that every Christian is called to witness. For Christ's sake (heh), I just wrote a paper on Matthew 28, where Jesus commands his disciples to "Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit." Heck, in my supremely geeky act of reading in my copy of the United Methodist Book of Discipline last night, I saw it right there in a list of the responsibilities of an ordained elder: "leading people to faith in Jesus Christ."

See, I never made a decision to let Jesus into my heart. I've had my moments of renewal over the years, sure, but I've never not been a Christian. That decision was made for me long before I was born. Going to church was never a choice. Being a Christian was never a choice. It was and is an identity. I never really had to decide to be a Christian. No wonder I'm uncomfortable facilitating that decision for others.

A few months ago, a friend and I were talking about family and significant others. His parents were Southern Baptist missionaries when he was growing up. His girlfriend is Catholic. "My parents love her," he said. "My dad's only concern is that she might not be 'a born-again Christian'." I paused, then replied, "I think my dad's concern with my boyfriend is that he is."

That decision. It is of the utmost importance to some Christians and a foreign, even frightening concept to others. The body of Christ is so much more broken than we realize, and it some times and places it has been over precisely this. We can't figure out how to talk about actively claiming a given identity, or how to form an identity from a decision. But we'll all sing the same hymn: "I have decided to follow Jesus. I have decided to follow Jesus. I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back. No turning back."